My Darling's Birthday

Men can be such idiots. No, i don't mean Fadz, but some other guy whom I'm furious at. A couple of posts back, i mentioned that i will be throwing a surprise birthday party for Fadz. 3 hours before the event, some ASSHOLE smsed Fadz and told him that he couldn't make it for his birthday dinner. He was stunned for a moment before asking me if there was some dinner planned for him that he didn't know about. i nearly fainted. That was before i called the offensive fellow and yelled at him for a good 10 minutes. This morning in stats, he saw me and cowered in fear. Huummppfff. He deserved it.


anywayz, here are some photos of the party. it was damn hot and we started to perspire a little, hence the shiny faces. hehehe...



me and my sweetie.. looking a bit ruffled and messy...




me and the scandalous Ms Tan Li Wern



La food...


giving the birthday boy a smoochie... (a better present right? :) )


doing a hugo boss ad.. not!

Ok, i know i haven't blogged in some time.. but it's really been crazy. Don't endless projects and stuff.. btw, thanks Christina for lending me your stats textbook! you're such a sweetheart!

Ok, off to pop panadol and stuff.. my nose is killing me..

gone... it's really gone...

I'm losing my mind. seriously, i am. i can forget what i did half an hour ago. And i always say Sylvia has a corkscrew brain... sigh...

I've lost my Stats textbook. Oh goody. the thing is, i can't recall where i left it. was it at ficus? at osl? seriously man, if somebody stole it, that person is a fucking loser. it's a STATS textbook for gad's sake. ARE YOU THAT DESPERATE, YOU CRAPASS LOSER? great, and now i'm gonna fail stats. sigh...

and to think i only discovered my missing book when i was almost home. apparently, i had conveniently walked out of school, went to Duke's Diner to make a reservation and only when i was near bukit batok, did i realise my hands were empty. *whacks forehead*

so what did i do? my favourite reaction of course. i freaking panicked. i frantically called aldric and screamed down the phone for him to help me go to ficus and search for my book. of course, being me, i talked a bit too loudly on the bus and people started to stare. sigh. he called back shortly, after an excrutiating 10 minutes to tell me he couldn't find it.

i started to get depressed (over a stats book!) and then i tried to make my stupid dead brain think where i left it. convinced that i had left it in ficus and thinking that aldric wouldn't look at the tables, i harassed the poor boy again to go to ficus and check all the tables. Duh. it's aldric. of course he'd already checked.

after another 5 minutes, i called aldric again. this time, i was convinced that i'd left it at osl. i could hear his exasperation, but whatever. i just had to find my freaking book. aldric's lesson started and he went for the lesson first. so what did i do? seeing how i was at home and in my room.... i fell asleep. -_-''' so much for worrying. aldric messaged later to tell me he couldn't find it. i so owe him big time.

sigh. so what to do now... what to do now... bleah! eh kris, lend me your book leh. i think i'll go photocopy it or something.

AAARRRRGGGGHHHH. Stats textbook stealer, may you rot and burn and die in hell!!!! die asshole die!!!!!

One down, 3 more to do

Phew! i'm done with Comms. I think we did ok... We finally pulled it together and the transition was pretty ok. Unfortunately, a lot of people around me didn't fare as pleasantly and they're rather disheartened now.

Especially poor Aldric, he was so stressed out yesterday night... he msn-ed me and was freaking out and getting real worried. Now that his presentation is done, he is even more worried. Haiz, i feel bad for him...

Hehe, Fadz's birthday is coming. I'm giving him a surprise birthday party. Even since i've met him, i've been trying to give him a surprise. Unfortunately, every surprise is marred by uncooperative people and predictability. This time, i'm going for broke... muahahahaha...

The first birthday i planned for him... people going told him that they were going to be late. -_-''' And SARS was rampant then... so i couldn't even meet him cos my mum refused to let me out of the house.

The second birthday i wanted to surprise him with a picnic (cooked entirely by yours truly) at Sentosa. He guessed the picnic somehow, and then he hated the sun at Sentosa. LOL, he was so miserable we had to leave early. And then the next day, i planned a surprise birthday party at Swensen's for him. He guessed that too. bleah...

So this year, it is going to be an all-out secretive operation. We're going to Duke's Diner at Crown Centre on Good Friday. So far, no idiot has smsed him yet. Also, since it's not on his birthday, and not even the weekend, he wouldn't see it. Fingers crossed this time he's gonna be shocked! Must be shocked! Don't care!

haha... 3 more presentations to go.. i'm rambling.. oh well.. oh yeah, FA presentation. Mark wanted to join my group (me, Sylvia, Ying Wen and Kristin) but we quickly told the Prof that we'd already done most of it. Today, another girl approached us to join our group. And there's only one more week to go. No freaking way. We quickly brushed her off again, we're safe.

Not very nice right? Oh well. It's true that we're mostly done anyway...

Alrightie, brain is switching off. Sleep-deprived from doing comms and studying for FA test. Zzzzzzz.....

Man or Woman?

Ah well, at least i'm female enough.

Your Brain is 66.67% Female, 33.33% Male

Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

I'm turning racist

I like to think of myself as being more open-minded and racially-harmonious. However, a few unsavoury characters have completely closed my mind and i now have a very low opinion about Indians.

It all began with Mudit. A 16-year old punk, he thought he was smarter than everyone and had an opinion about everything. He would talk and talk and talk, repeating what people said and doing slipshod work. Sigh....

And this whole vicious cycle is now perpetuating with Shashank and Kaushal, two authentic Indians who are my President and Ex-President of Ventures respectively. Are they smart and capable? You bet. But have they broken away from the old Indian mindset that women are inferior? Hell no.

It's infuriating when I'm not given credit. I'm undertaking this project and they always conveniently leave me out. My partner on this project is a male, and he is always in the loop, always credited and always put in charge. I want to strangle those two ah nehs so badly it's not funny.

It's hard to respect a person when they are so rude and annoying. They do what they want and shove people aside as and when they like. I was planning a meeting with my prof, and did the responsible thing to call everyone involved. But Shashank just steamrolled in and decided the matter, leaving me out of the meeting and telling the prof that only he and my partner are going. Bastard. He also left my Vice-President out. Who the hell does he think he is? The club isn't his, no matter what he may think. Jerk. %^&$%#^%$!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to make sure that ah neh knows i'm alive. Boy, is he going to know it. If he thinks that i'm all about parties and fruity in behaviour, he's gonna get a rude awakening. A VERY rude one.

I'm damn thirsty

Li Wern broke up with her boyfriend. Finally. If this sounds mean, well, try listening to that woman whine and promising to end the relationship for the past gazillion months. I'm just glad it's over. woo hah!

We went to Alley Bar for some girly talk. Lol, so much for trying to save up. Drank a lychee martini, cosmopolitan, and then on a whim, we decided to end the day on a good note with the karma sutra. that is basically 5 vodka, liquer-flavoured shots. Yup, definitely a high. I think towards the end we were talking too loudly, discussing how best she should flirt with a guy so that she could lay him and get over her horniness... yup, definitely on a high. The waiters were all looking at us in amusement. Oh well... =)

Look what turned up in my mailbox. it's amazing how a transsexual can sum up all the things that a woman feels. hehe...

When I am a girl, my life will be sweet.

Boys'd buy me jewels in hopes of a treat.
When I am a girl, I'll be a conniver,

I'll gossip to friends and be a worse driver.
When I am a girl, I'll have sensitive feelings.

Climb the corporate ladder, straight into glass ceilings.
When I am a girl, I'll resent that the gents

Earn a dollar compared to my seventy cents.
I'll go out to bars, bat my eyelids and squeal.

Pretend not to notice dudes copping a feel.
When I am a girl, I'll giggle and wink.

I'll flirt with the studs and never pay for a drink.
When I am a girl, I'll obsess if I'm slim.

I'll count the net carbs and never go to the gym.
When I am a girl, I'll envy your noodle

I'll need a support group to pee like a poodle.
When I am a girl, I'll get excited for hours,

I'll never wear panties and have a weakness for flowers.
I'll play with all day, my bundle of nerves

And never give up what no man deserves.
Then one week a month I'll have an excuse

To spread venom, and hatred and mental abuse.
But the thing to which I look forward the most,

The thing to which all the girls will toast,
Is the turning of any innocent spat

Into: "OH MY GOD! ARE YOU SAYING I'M FAT???"
So for all of these reasons and infinite more

I can hardly contain my feminine lore.
For when I am a girl I'll marry some jerk

So I can eat bonbons and let him go to work.
I'll cut my hair short and since I'll be a wife,

I'll gain five pounds a year, for the rest of my life.
But now back to real life for Helga The Virgin

As known on the corner where I earn for the surgeon.

Damn, but my tag-board is down. Help! Help! What is happening?

Cool! I'm in the exco

Yay! After a nerve-wrecking wait during the elections, i was finally elected onto the executive committee of SMU Ventures. I'm the new director of Human Resource. Haha... such an irony...

You see, i'm always making fun of my sister, who is the HR Administrator of her company. Just watching her, i vowed never to do anything with HR, cos it really is a thankless task. Everyone is constantly asking her questions and asking her to solve their problems, on top of all her own work. And here i am, the new HR director of Ventures. It's called bad karma. =)

Right away, i was thrown into the daunting task of handling the administrative work. I feel so out of my skin... oh well, let's see how it goes.

I'm really creeped out by Teoh Boon Seong; he's my comms prof. Not only is he a bad instructor (he never bothers to teach anything), he's also a SUPER big chee ko pek. After learning that my boyfriend was Malay, he quickly asked if i spoke Malay. My reply was negative, and he hasn't stopped hounding me ever since.

You see, Teoh teaches basic Malay in SMU. Now, at almost every lesson, he would call me aside and try to confirm whether i am going to take his class. Basically, he has strongheld me into agreeing. Sigh. Jerk.

Right. Better get back to listening in class. Alvin (my TA) always sits behind me. He casually informed me that he knew i was sleeping. -_-''' I told him i was merely distracted. Let's hope he doesn't deduct too many points off my grade. hahahahaha...

I hate emails (and smses)

I hate emails (and smses)

Technology is not agreeing with me today. I've had nothing but bad news from it- more work, last minute meetings etc. I'm normally not VERY violent, but just for today, i had the urge to slam my phone on the floor, and stomp my laptop into little pieces. Yes, it's that bad.

It all started yesterday actually. I was supposed to meet this girl from SA to do something for Ventures. Obediently, i went to Raffles at the anointed time and waited patiently. half an hour later, i was still alone in that creepy place. so when i panickily asked the girl where she was, she replied (through sms!) that she was held up at the office. Seeing how i had a LTB meeting, and i was already damn late, i left. Unfortunately, it started to rain. very heavily. not willing to stay in that creepo place, i ran in the rain for the shelther of the red door gallery, which, in my opinion, equally creepy. i then had to take a freaking cab to the business block cos i was completely trapped. First blow of bad news through technology.

Second blow into the heart: I've just come home from school after an extremely long and taxing LTB meeting, switched on my laptop and boom! second arrow fired. Ravi (from Ventures) fires me this message through msn, "Why don't you ever check your emails? Reply to it!!!"

Being very weary, i didn't mince my words. "I'm not tied to my computer day and night." At least he had the decency to apologise and looked embarrassed. (he put on the embarrassed emoticon) And to that, he had only just sent out the message in the afternoon, when i was in school!

today, i went to westmall after morning stats class to meet my mum for lunch. boom! third arrow into my heart. Kaushal (my ventures president) smsed me "check your email". Which i then replied "i'm not at home now." Not very nice, especially since he's my president. Ravi (yup, him again!) then messaged me that we needed to see a professor TODAY for ventures. Apparently, that was the email i was supposed to check. Seeing how i last checked my email at 1am, and was in school at 8.30am, I started smoking from the ears a little. Extremely harrassed, i rushed back to school for the aforementioned meeting. And the prof made us wait 30 minutes for it.

and the final dagger into my heart. i came home to some much needed rest, and this sms comes through from York. "check your email, reply asap." that did it. i was so irate that all i could see was rage. Turning on my computer, i changed my msn nick to "dammit! if you have something to tell me, call me and not email me! i'm not tied to my computer day and night!"

Unfortunately, York was online and he became enraged too. he proceeded to take the high road and screamed at me for kao bei-ing, when all he was doing was being responsible. the email, incidentally, was to arrange for a meeting tomorrow for ltb. sigh. what did i do? of course i ripped back, giving it back twice as good. i screamed and raged as fast as my fingers will type. msn, by the way, is a weird medium to scold someone. anyway, luckily we've worked it out. but only after a lot of churlish and mean words were exchanged.

so you see, i have a right to be angry with technology. it has done nothing but bring my bad news. The next time i see Neil Jones, I'm gonna hurl something at him. Down with technology! (and profs who teach technology!)

Salaam

Salaam

Was at the boyfriend's house yesterday to celebrate his brother's 13th birthday. Lol, previously, i was pissed at him over a very small issue. Fadz has a very laidback attitude to everything, including our relationship. to him, we are supposedly at the level where i SHOULD know what to do in every situation. I didn't really receive an invitation to go over to his house, and so i asked him about it. but he replied meanly "Usually we don't invite you and you also come what." -_-''' That totally pissed me off... haha, i'm sensitive in that way.

so childishly, i refused to sms him to ask what time to go over. and accordingly, that stupid boy ignored me as well... until my marked absence triggered a rude message from him late in the afternoon. followed by a few more rude messages. it really was a battle of the words; seeing who can piss off the other person more. sigh... are we really 20 years old??? when i cornered him later to ask about the relevance of the messages, he admitted he just wanted to irritate me. altogether now... sssiiggghhh...

anyway, at his house... although i know his family well, i've never really conformed to their customs and traditions. so when one aunt asked pointblank "No salaam ah?" (salaam, by the way, is the paying of respect to an elder by touching your nose to the elder's hand) In shock, i clumsily grabbed her hand and instinctively, i started to pump her hand ie like a handshake before remembering where i was and touched my forehead to her hand. hahahahahhaha...

so anyway, when i was leaving, i performed the same action to all his relatives... wrongly. i hope they don't mind. after all, i have no prior "training". Only when i consulted Fadz did i discover my faux pas. oh well, you live and learn.

oh yeah, and his youngest aunt is pregnant! his cousins are sooo adorable. i can't wait for another cousin to cuddle and kiss!

The World's Greatest Tragedy

The World's Greatest Tragedy

While reading blogs, i came across this comment:

"Everyone has been harping on the 250 000 people who perished in the Tsunami since last December. But do you know that 4 million people have died in a civil war in rebel-controlled East Congo for the past 6 years... Why do we not hear of this? Because they are black." - sheabutter

Although i've known Congo to be repressed and war torn, i never knew about the extent of the war horror. On the other hand, i knew intimately about the death toll created by the Asian Tsunami. Why is there such a discrepency? Media manipulation? Or do people only want to know what they are willing to help?

I suppose the difference is the method of salvation. To put it coldly, money will eventually rebuilt all that was lost to the tidal waves. yes, people died, but with money, lives will be rebuilt, villages restored. and life goes on.

but with Congo, nothing short of declaring war and taking back the country from the rebels will change anything. So why isn't the Bush administration charging in with it's democracy fighters and all that bullshit?

sheabutter makes a point. Because they are black. In Iraq and Afganistan, there was oil to gain; revenge to be taken. But to take control of Congo, what can the Americans hope to gain? Nothing much. So there's no return of investment.

So there you have it - invading a country to liberate it is crap, American crap. If George Bush was truly that righteous, let's see him charge into Congo.

So which is a greater tragedy, one caused by nature or one by war? to me, both seem incontrollable. to wish that we will one day live in a world where there are no desperados or power-hungry dictators is foolish. people are just that way. selfish and greedy for more.

oh yeah, what more details on the horrors of Congo? Check this out.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/2405563.stm

Technology & World Change - Who Cares?

Technology and World Change - Who Bloody Cares?

I must say, this is possibly the most bullshit and boring class that i will ever attend at SMU. Yes, it's even worse than financial accounting. Even though the professor speaks well and his biting sarcasm can be rather humorous at times, he's like a well-spoken engineer speaking to a group of philosophy students: no one understands, and no one gives a shit.

After valiantly fighting to keep awake by throwing myself into participating in class, only one hour has passed. Time is dragging by so slowly i feel like throwing myself out of the window. Of course, since we're on the ground floor, i don't think i would get maimed; my pride maybe, but my miserable mind will still feel like killing itself.

I'm soooo bored, you cannot imagine. The prof can go on and on about a particular topic... like a radio, or broadcast system, and he uses all kinds of analogies to make us understand. But the point is, who cares? Who really gives a shit?? How is this supposed to help us? How are we supposed to go for an exam that is 40% of our final grade when we a) don't know what the course is all about b) have no idea what he could possibly test us on c) we don't bloody care or want to care.

Sigh. And to think i was doing so well mimicking someone who did care. i'm participating, i'm trying to to listen, but right now i've given up. Seeing how i'm using a computer that is not even mine, i think he would know that i'm not listening. Once again, show of hands, who cares? Not me.

The Bell Jar

I've just finished reading The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath and it's an amazing book. The way she expressed the kinds of emotion and grief, the insanity, that one feels during a mental breakdown was so eloquent that i wanted to weep in despair. Although i rarely have a liking for depressing books, The Bell Jar was so riveting that i had to complete it within 2 sittings.

I suppose another strong point of this book is that it is so relevant. I'm sure at some point in everyone's life, we have felt stifled by people's perceptions and what we should do, how we should behave, etc. And that inability to climb out of that controlled environment is what the Bell Jar is all about. Being unable to shed inhibitions and societal notions to be who we want to be, do what we want to do. I've felt that way many times before. Many, many times.

Also, why is it that more women are prone to mental breakdowns than men? Post-natal depression, menopausal emotional breakdowns, not to mention how sometimes the littlest things can set us off. Why were we born to be able to feel so much, to feel pain in magnifold? Depression, in many degrees, can be seen in women everywhere. While i have never experienced complete depression, sometimes i feel that life can seem very unforgiving. The oppressiveness of even waking up in the morning can be so overwhelming that being alive is an effort. Isn't that truly scary?

Haha, i'm not saying that i'm heading towards the psychiatric ward, i'm just saying that if there really is a God, he sure played a final joke on us women: he made us feel too much. I supposed that's why they say you should never offend a women; rage is also an emotion, and when we go bonkers, we truly go bonkers. I guess it's to compensate for all the pain that we somehow take upon us to bear. Some women choose to weep and die from the inside; others need to pass the pain onto others before it subsides.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." No shit.

Whirlwind of socialising

Whirlwind of socialising

Wow, what an exhuasting week of entertaining, and most of it didn't even have to do with chinese new year. the endless rounds of meeting friends and just catching up has left me rather tired. but it was fun! boy, was it fun (and fattening!)

09/02/05: beginning with cny eve dinner at mayim, which wasn't fantastic, but it marks the start of the orgy of gorging that i embarked upon.

10/02/05: next was Cheryl's (my sista) birthday celebration; she turned the grand old age of 25. birthday dinner was at Muthu's curry, which began on a rather gross start, as a little boy at a nearby table threw up while his grandma was carrying him. some of his puke found its way onto our then empty plates. restaurant is nice enough, definitely not your ordinary indian restaurant. even more startling was that it served yu sheng, in the spirit of cny and all. food was good, setting was pretty; a good meal in all.


me with the birthday girl


me with the family (dad was taking the picture)


the yu sheng (they hired a chinese chef especially for this occasion)


a bad shot of the food!

11/02/05: was out with fadz that day, and as i was settling into the couch for a good round of tv, my crazy friends (read: eng teck) called up to blackmail me into surprising sylvia. we had a cake and all, which was nice. but at 11pm at night, to travel all the way to boon lay for a 15 minute surprise... i was slightly disgruntled... :)

hamming it up at Plaza Singapura's Gelare

at the fountain outside ngee ann city

12/02/05: Sylvia's official birthday celebration at her house (again!). Chocolate cake aside, had a pretty fun time gossiping with my fellow smu friends, before playing mah jong with frank, denise and wai hon. i won $11! muahaha...

the smu gang!

Later i trooped over to sim's (my sec 2 form teacher) house for a visit. it's actually a cover up for the 206 people to meet up annually. we just need a place and reason to meet up. haha... poor mr sim. every year we arrive only to cost him a fortune and turn his house upside down. had fun bitching (as usual) about our fellow ex-classmates with the KB gang, before giggling and being silly over how a few of the boys have ahem.. matured and become better looking. haha..

fooling around at mos burger waiting for jing yi

the kb gang! (minus ms charlotte)

my great, old teddybear teacher!

lol, we think he's pretty hot. better looking in real life.

13/02/05: was supposed to be fadz and my celebration of valentine's day, as he would be in camp come the actual day. but alan had planned a nice lunch gathering at The Oaks at Tanglin Mall as a farewell party for Pris. She's leaving to study in Australia on Friday, so sad.. another person flies the coop. :( I brought my camera to take photos, but it ran out of battery... -_-'''

after that, we played pooled at Mambo at Lucky Plaza, and surprise surprise, i stink at pool. oh well...

later in the afternoon, fadz and i walked around orchard to kill some time before dinner (more eating!). things have been a bit strained between us lately; he prefering to languish in stability and routine, and me craving for some sponteneity and missing the heady feeling one feels when one is in the initial stages of a relationship.. i guess i was also freaked out by his constant references to married life and children. lol, he has accelerated the process by a million times.

sensing that i was truly bored of walking around aimlessly, he suggested we go to the breakwater at marina bay for some alone time. it worked like a charm. somehow, the clear azure blue skies, the deliciously dry grass that we were sitting on, and the serene ocean (complete with ships) that we were facing made everything seem... wonderful. in all my fits of exasperation, i failed to remember one important factor of our current relationship: how happy and stable we are, and that he never fails to make me feel loved. sitting there looking at the water, being held in his arms, he made me feel absolutely safe, warm and happy. very, very happy. so i may not feel the old flames of excitement, but what i do feel is happiness. being with him still brings butterflies to my stomach, i still eagerly wait to see him, and he makes me laugh. somehow, i've forgotten about these things.

at night, aside from the lovely bouquet of roses, he treated me to dinner at amiran's in bugis. had a nice dinner just basking in each other's company, while freezing our socks off in the ridiculously cold environment...

14/02/05: so how did i spend valentine's day? at home, what else. i gave school a miss as my lazy butt refused to leave the cosiness of my bed, and also to study for my stats test. that turned out to be a farce as lethargy won out. i studied for a little while only. but i did have a fantastic japanese meal with geraldine (other sista) and my mum at Raku, a quiant, lovely restaurant in Holland V. the ambience is deliciously warm; soft yellow lighting, only a few tables and dark, oak furniture. it's an open kitchen concept, but the ventilation is so good that we when came out there was no trace of the food we had consumed. the food is exquisite: warm soba bathed in a lovely broth, tempura fried so well that it's non-oily and the flour easily separates from the filling; a mark of good chefmanship. the soft shell crab was crispy and generous in meat, although the accompanying sauce was too sour for my taste; give me good old mayonnaise any time! and there was the claypot unagi with egg. Splendidly done, the egg so soft and silky while the unagi had a decided bite to it. The only damper to the whole experience was the volatile chef. the equipment he was using was faulty, and in a fit of rage, he began throwing things around in disgust. at least when he caught me looking at him, he had the sense to look apologetic. no sense in having an open kitchen if the customer has to endure fits of temper.

good week, good week. how am i gonna start school? oh yeah, through sheer will and force.. i have a test tomorrow. god bless me.

Chinese New Year is... fun

Chinese New Year is...FUN...

On the eve of Chinese New Year, i persuaded Fadz to bring me to Chinatown. Lol, i dunno if he or the ang mos were more conspicuous. Anyway, the crowds were CRAZY! At some points, we couldn't even move. Fadz grew increasingly agitated, and me, being nutso and all, was actually enjoying being crushed to death by sweaty, disgusting people. Haha...

So he refused to talk to me and keeping his head down, plowed through the people, attempting to reach the end. And when we emerged on the other side of the road, he stoutly refused to jump back into the crowds. i wonder why... :)

But i found it fun. I bought mochi mochi, ate ice popsicles, and saw the crazy austrian guy selling german sausages. And he was wearing chinese pigtails. hehehe...

i've only been to one house so far: my grandma's. as you can see, we're rather anti-social. and since my mum can't stand my grandma, we only stayed one hour. lol, some chinese new year eh? we've been playing mah jong for the rest of the time, so i can't really complain. A choice between being stuck in a house with people i see once a year, or playing mah jong. I think i'll take the latter.

Bugger it, i forgot to bring my camera to chinatown. so no photos people! will, update soon enough...

Gong Xi Gong Xi! Was at muthu's curry yesterday for dinner, and we had lo hei (yu sheng!). since it was an indian restuarant, the waiters weren't about the do the preperation for you. So i rolled up my sleeves and attempted to do it, chinese idioms and all. hahahah... if you know my grasp of the chinese language, you'll know that i wasn't very successful... hahhaha

I'm sulking

I'm sulking

I'm in a positively bratty and sulky mood. Don't ask me why; i'm not too sure what the trigger was even. All i do know is that, it's incredibly comforting to sulk sometimes and unleash the annoyance within me.

Stuck in Comms class now. Was really weirded out this morning; Teko Teoh (my comms prof) came up to me and asked me if i spoke malay. After overcoming the shock, he basically "wrestled" me into agreeing to sign up for his basic malay course next sem. he even told me to find a good partner cos we'd be conversing a lot in malay. yeah, whatever.

i'm having my FA test later. i think i'm absolutely allergic to FA. Every Sunday, whenever i'm stuck doing FA homework or studying for it, i would fall ill. very, very ill. Ill enough to require constant rest, constant eating and constant medication. Yeeuuggghss. My nose is raw from all the rubbing. Sigh. I am so gonna fail this test. I'm resigned to my fate.

Still feeling irritable. I want to go to Chinatown to soak up the atmosphere and get squashed. I want to be pressed against sweaty beasts (ie other shoppers) and feel disgusted. I have the weirdest wants, eh? I want to buy mochi mochi and eat ice popsicles and look at the er hu performer. hmmm, maybe i should whine the boyfriend into agreeing to go with me. then i would have a reason to pon Stats tomorrow. can't wake up to go back to sleep in class. hiak hiak.

The Sun is Slowly Emerging

The Sun Is Slowly Emerging

Lol, i think i worried a few people with the last entry. I'm fine now, really! But i suppose it was bound to happen, this sudden outburst of helplessness. Seeing how i took on so much responsibility at one time, the stress just kept building up. I cried for a while, but instead of feeling helpless and full of self-pity, i felt relief. The tears felt more like a release and was strangely comforting. I wasn't crying in despair; i was simply crying to remove certain craziness that i was feeling. And then i moved on. Sure, i still have lots to do and lots undone, but Shawn is right, i just need to prioritize. And i'm doing that now. Slowly working my way back to sanity.

Yesterday, i stayed in school till 8pm to collect a T-shirt that i bought during Patron's Day. I absolutely adore it! Certainly well worth the effort... Speaking of which, Aldric accompanied me till that time. He really is very, very nice and gentlemanly; never noticed till recently. He listens attentively even when i'm talking rot, opens doors without asking, went for dinner with me and bought me my drink while i waited for my food without me having to ask, agreed to accompany me till 8pm even though i only asked him in jest, and even volunteered to buy sweets when i started to cough after dinner. Very nice guy. guess chivalry isn't dead after all! lol, aiyah, yes Shawn, you are very nice too...

Take a look at my shirt! Yes, very vain, but i can't help it. It's ME....

Me wearing the shirt....

Me out of the shirt...

Close up shot!

I'm cracking up

I'm cracking up

I'm crumbling from within. I've made the mistake of attempting to do too many things and now i'm paying for it. I can't concentrate on any one thing for too long, and end up neglecting too many things in the process.

My commitment to Ventures sees me helping out with the campus cafe and Conclave; Volleyball has me helping out with Waikiki, and let's not forget about my school work, These, while trying to squeeze time to meet my friends and boyfriend.

I've totally messed up my comms presentation. things that were supposed to be done never got done. My team is now screwed up in the process, and all because i didn't send in the slides in time. How ironic, seeing that the presentation is about EQ. Sylvia had to cover my ass and do some slides for me.

Moreover, i see myself canceling meetings or walking out of them earlier to go for other meetings. Just the other day, i was at NUS with Mel but cut short halfway to rush back to school to help out with Waikiki. Then it turns out that they cancelled it cos of admin problems. -_-''' Later, i walked out of LTB meeting cos i had to go meet a couple of VCs, in the process also missing volleyball training. That was followed with a Conclave meeting, which i walked out of to go down to my LTB beneficiary.

I feel so lost and out of focus. My homework is piling up, i haven't studied for tests, and i snapped at Fadz yesterday, for being so indecisive, that i felt he was wasting my time. And this coming after not being able to see him for so long, after missing him so much, and then i have to go be so mean.

What am i supposed to do now? I know i will get through this, and emerge stronger (hopefully). But at what cost?

Cut Off My Nose

Cut Off My Nose

The flu is back with a vengence. My eyes are watering and my noise is so irritated i feel the urge to sneeze every 2 minutes. I'm experiencing chills and hot flashes alternately, and all this is happening during TWC class. Great.

The air-con is killing me and my noise, and yet i'm sweating cold sweat. My eyes looked like i've been punched, and i'm sooo miserable...

Bleah. And to think i still have project meetings, and various pressing Ventures events that i have to attend to. I think my body system is breaking down. Help!

TaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufik

TaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufik!!!!

Lol, the title says it all. Taufik was in SMU! and i was like less than 50m away from him!!! Those eyes! Those lips! That voice! Damn, but he was sexy!

TaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufik!!!

I went absolutely ballistic when he appeared. It's been a long time since i last hollered my love and devotion to some stranger, but it was fun! i was screaming so loudly the guy in front of my went deaf! and i was jumping up and down and asking him to marry me! Hahaha, so much for dignified uni student.

TaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufikTaufik!!!

A meeting with old friends

A meeting with old friends

I was absolutely bored stiff today. Bored enough to go around asking people to go out with me. If you know me, it doesn't happen often. Usually, i wait for people to ask me out, otherwise i'm stagnating at home. So when i do the asking, it's probably because i'm really desperate.

I first messaged Kristin, Shawn, Desheng and Sylvia. Kristin and Sylvia were holed up in school preparing for Patron's Day. sigh. Then Shawn had a previous appointment. But at least he declined my offer politely. And dear ol' Desheng. He was willing to go out with me, but since i don't know him well enough, i casually mentioned that it would only be me and him, ie it's kinda funny if only the two of us met up. He was sweet enough to go around asking other people, but no dice. Oh well, good friend, good friend.

Wallowing in self-pity, it dawned on me that i had a group of most dependable friends: my dear ol' KB gang. Called them up, and we were set to go out, albeit at Lot 1. It's been a long time since i last met them. It's incredibly comforting being around people whom you've known for so long; where it doesn't matter what you wear, what you say, cos they'll still love you.

Ate Sakae Sushi, and it was fun catching up. We then watched Shall We Dance. I love that we can be so spontaneous and know each other well enough that we can feel absolutely comfortable even though we're in a dark theatre not talking.

My dear KB gang, what will i do without you? Sigh, i've been known to neglect them once in a while, but when it comes down to the crunch, they're the same people who knew me when i was sobbing on their shoulders, or laughing most unladylike-ly.