Work, Work, Work

Sigh, Ms Aw, you ask for update, but unfortunately, life has been rather blah.

All I seem to be doing is work, work, work. 12-hour shifts are becoming commonplace. Urrrgghhhh.....

Plus, I'm doing National Day reporting. This means I have to come up with 5 colour stories before NDP, do hourly live reports during the actual NDP show, and go back to the office after the whole thing is done and file another report. My stomach is churning at the thought of it.

AND I'm doing National Day rally. Not that I want to gripe... screw it, I DO want to gripe. We're sending 2 people for each event. But my partners change. Why am I the constant?

DOING NATIONAL DAY RALLY MEANS I START ON THE DAY ITSELF AND THEN I'M EXPECTED TO WORK UNTIL THE FOLLOWING DAY.

Like 4pm to 4am or something like that. sobz...

Anyway, my appraisal is up. Talking to my boss tomorrow. I was having a pretty bad time last week, and I kinda blurted out that I wanted to know if I would be confirmed. I was worried that my sliding performance was gonna affect my appraisal.

The boss hinted that my confirmation was likely. So well, we shall see.

I can't believe it's been 6 months. But after all this time, I still wonder if I'm suited for this job. When people talk about wanting to become a journalist, they usually describe it as a passion, as an ambition. To want to find out the truth, dig into uncomfortable areas, write prose that can change the world.

Do I feel the same way? After all, I've never really thought about being a journalist. It just kinda.... happened. Does it matter that I don't feel those same needs? Does it matter that I view my job as a job, and there's no overriding desire? Does it matter that sometimes I read what I write, despair at its insignificance, but it goes out as news anyway?

The question I've been asking myself is that, would I be happier anywhere else? I used to think that I was destined to do HR. But what made me so certain? Would I have been happier doing that?

I'm rambling now. So tired that I can't think straight.

On a positive note, I'm going for SingFest with Fadz! And Shah, my co-DJ back in SMU, remember? Can't wait! I know it's an odd combination of people, but the concert is going to be rocking!

Oh yeah, and I think my colleagues think I'm incredibly flighty and sex crazed and weird. Just because I put this picture on my 15-inch monitor.

I can't imagine why they would think that way. Might have something to do with how I like rubbing my hands all over my screen.

Oh well. Shouldn't my bosses be happy that I enjoy looking at my computer screen?