Home and Rootedness

I was on the train yesterday with Fadz when I was hit by a wave a nostalgia for my time in Paris.

It's really strange, and I don't think it's because I miss being on holiday (erm, I'm not screaming to be back in KL), but rather, I miss the idea of witnessing history and pretending for a moment that I'm part of it.

It's a feeling that's tough to describe... You know how the Singapore government keeps talking about how we need to be more rooted in Singapore, be more connected to Singapore, yada yada?

Well, it just dawned on my that it's a bit difficult to feel a sense of home and rootedness to a place that just doesn't stay the same.

The government talks about home and family, but really, what makes a home? Is it just the people? Or does the environment play a part too?

They say that overseas Singaporeans need to come home because THIS is where home in, where your family is.... So if they equate home with family, wouldn't transplanting your family to whereever you are be equivalent to having a home? What exactly makes you feel for a country, to want to belong to a country, if people are the only link that's keeping you there?

It just feels Singapore is never standing still, that history is constantly being wiped out and pushed out of living memory by the insane need to constantly rebuild and push ahead.

But all the clean air and shiny buildings don't make a country. People need visuals to capture their imagination! Words and ideas just don't feel the same.

History comes in the form of buildings, architecture and monuments that have stood the test of time, artifacts that our ancestors have fought for... that to me, is the idea of rootedness.

The idea that no matter how far I go, how long I've been away, I can always go back and that slice of history will still be there. Something concrete that I can show my children and grandchildren.

It's like, the Chinese have the Tiananmen Square, the French have their historic buildings, the Romans have their ruins. What does Singapore have? A plague to signify that something important happened? A byline in history books that something important took place? Ideas don't inspire people. Concepts don't build nationalism and patriotism. Efficiency doesn't fire up the imagination.

That's why I miss Paris. It's like it's perfectly fine to stop, sit and stare at a building, contemplate about how that building has affected history and made a city the way it is today.

In Singapore, what you're most likely to get is people staring aimlessly at other people. But people come and go in today's world. People are transient. They survive but one generation. Great leaders inspire a group of people. But it's THINGS, BUILDINGS, that stand the test of time.

I just sometimes despair at how obtuse the officials can sometimes get. Sure, I'm all for capitalism and new shiny things. But when does it all stop? If things of my childhood are relegated to mere memories, that I have nothing to show my children but anecdotes, when my memory starts to fade, would my children know the Singapore I know? Would my children care about the Singapore they may choose to be part of or not?

Ok, just a rant. A slight sadness. I respect Singapore for it has taken good care of me, but that doesn't mean I'm passionate or love it or willing to die for it. Because it's a caricature of the character it is attempting to be. Trying to be more than just a soul-less, efficient city that is a holding place for transient beings.

Masquerading as a nation that holds an appeal for its people, rather than acknowledging that people are fleeing to places that capture their imagination, or acting as a gilded cage for those who can't move.