Sometimes, I do pity the boyfriend

Cause when I'm in the mood, I can be downright horrible to be around.

I'm caustic, I flit from topic to topic trying to suppress my irritation, nothing holds my attention for long, I itch for a good yelling match, I allow myself to wallow into the depths of annoyance and impatience...

Like I said, I pity the boyfriend.

And it can be bewildering to keep up, as I switch from smiling, to sulking, to cutting, to pleasant. Huh, sometimes I even amaze myself.

Then I start to talk to quickly, speak in weird lingo (influenced by years of trashy American tv-meets mtv-meets e! entertainment) that can be confusing for someone with a more traditional (tv) viewing habit.

And when ZW goes "huh?" or fails to keep up with my (failed) logic, I get pissed off, like "get with the programme already!"

For someone (him) who takes things very personally, my unintention snub can turn potentially fatal.........

Sigh. I think I'd try even a saint's patience at this point.

Anyways, I'm back to sulking.

Back from Bali!

An utterly fabulous vacation... Which was nearly ruined by a last minute bout of food poisoning on the last day.

But i'm thankful for small miracles. I spent two amazing days in bali, lazing by the pool, eating amazing food, going for a massage... And best of all, just hanging out with ZW.

Haha, the thing about having a photographer for a bf is that... EVERYTHiNG has to be photographed. In the best possible light. From different angles.

Great for creating memories, but can be a little exasperating at times. Ah, but i guess it must be love when he convinces me to get out of bed at 6am and into the pool for an artistic water shoot. Hahhha..

And we were having so much fun that ZW contemplated, like seriously contemplated extending one more night. Like buying new plane tickets and booking the hotel room for one more night.

I managed to talk him out of it. Hey, it was the start of high season and prices shot up! I'm a thoughtful, great gf in that way. haha

But having food poisoning really, really sucks. I'm still a bit weak, the appetites's off.. And i'm real grumpy when i'm sick.

I snapped at ZW on the plane ride back to singapore, told him to bugger off when he tried to put his hands around me thinking to comfort me...

Hey, in my defence, my stomach hurt and i was alternating between chills and fever. Not exactly cuddle material.

And he still found me sexy. Hahah. Definitely a keeper. :)

Relocating

Don't worry, not me. Just been receiving news lately that a number of friends and acquaintances are throwing off the shackles of Singapore life and heading out to make their mark in the world.

I know three people who are heading to the Middle East, China and Hong Kong... and a certain Ms Tan has always made known her intentions to head to the US.. and my sister is already there.

What is it about moving to a foreign land that's so attractive? I personally have never felt the need to relocate. Seriously. And I don't think I'm being narrow-minded here. Heck, I know Singapore is definitely NOT the end all and be all. And it has many faults.

But it's home. And whenever I feel the need to see the world, I do just that. Head overseas and frankly, after a while, I do miss home and want to sleep in my own bed. I've been known to exclaim with glee upon reaching Changi Airport. It's warm! and carpeted! and look ma, pretty flowers!

Besides, I simply have too many connections tying me to Singapore. Family, friends, love...

Hell, I gave up the chance to study overseas because of well.. Fadz. Back then, there was no way I would have willingly chosen to be away from him for 6 months because I knew that would spell the end of our relationship. And I never regretted that decision.

Now.. well, there's a new link tying me to Singapore. :)

Some people may scream... "WHY THE HECK ARE YOU GIVING UP CAREER FOR A MAN?? A MERE MAN!!?? WHAT HAPPENED TO INDEPENDENT WOMEN?"

Err, ok.. more power to you. But do I strike you as the career type? Besides, who says I can't have both? And surely I need to feel a powerful attraction for this foreign land before making the leap right??

I do think I've travelled quite a bit (by far no where complete, but sufficient).

And I've yet to visit a place that I can conceivably call a second home. The closest would probably be New York, but even then, I hate the stinky, old subway where you never know if you're going to be molested and even then, you're helpless and you can't do anything on the crowded trains.

London - expensive, grey and sometimes depressing
Tokyo - language barrier
Melbourne - racism
Hong Kong - health hazard
Paris - safety concerns (haven't you all heard how I was accousted by a gang of men at the foot of the White Cathedral or Basilica or whatever you call it??)

And I haven't really figured out what I want to do with me life. If that's the case, how do I even go about searching for opportunities?

I suppose my current job has also contributed to the lack of restlessness. If I was stuck in a 9-to-5 job in the office, I would probably go out of my mind as well.

But my life is such that I'm often praying to be in the office. Most days, I'm thrown out of the office and pounding the streets. When I'm working, I rarely have the time to even think, much less ponder about my sad life.

(Ok, now's the exception cos I'm manning the morning shift that's a nice respite from all the normal craziness.)

But back to the post. Relocating.. despite all my protests, I would never say never. I just need a strong enough incentive.

The girls over for dinner and guitar hero

Yes, that's two people on drums. And we still failed :(

Me boy in action

Going behind the lense

Having tasted what it feels like to be in front of the camera, i thought i'd go behind the camera for a lark.

Helped out ZW at this event... To do general filming. It's surprisingly difficult.

My shoulders are aching from carrying a tiny camera. I dunno how my cameramen do it with a real, 20kg camera.

My hands are definitely shaky, my eye for composition can be improved.

But at least from hanging out with cameramen so often, i know at least, where to be at the right time.

Oh, and photogs can be downright ruthless. I was pushed around, yelled at, glared at. I screamed right back. In my private capacity, i can piss people off. Bleagh.

But.... Guess i'd stick to being a talking head. ;)