How times have changed

It just hit me the other day that i haven't watched a movie in a long time.

Why is that significant, you ask?

In my previous relationship, watching movies was more than entertainment, it was practically a way of life, a religion. Not week went by without at least 1 film, or 2.

I suppose since the ex wasn't financially sound, and i'm never that, watching movies is a relatively cheap way to pass time.

Besides, after a while we ran out of things to do and movies were a convenient option.

But that isn't the case now. I suppose the newness of the relationship means we haven't fallen into a pattern yet. Or have fallen back on a standard activity to pass for spending time together.

Speaking of the relationship, it's very strange.

We've been together less than 2 months, but it doesn't feel like a new relationship.

He doesn't feel like stranger, neither do i feel awkward around him.

You know how sometimes when meeting a new person, you might try to put on your best persona and act all perfect?

Not me. I've sulked, pouted, yelled, punched, cried, screamed, fallen sick, been emotionally detached.. And he still loves me. Amazing.

I wonder if this is it. After a period of restlessness and doubt, have i finally found what i what, what i need? :) guess time will tell.

And should that be the case, I wonder what our couple activity will eventually be.

I hope it's something exciting. Like travelling.

Speaking of that, we're going to bali in july!!! Excited to the max.

Will be heading to the Alila Ubud. Ssscccrreeaammm!!

Oh, and keeping to the theme of the post, even though it kinda deviated.. The last movie i watched was Snow Prince, on my birthday.

Haven't seen SATC, nor Toy Story 3... Or anything really. And it doesn't really bother me. :P

Day 2

Struggling to keep awake at a super eeaarrlllyyy conference. A seemingly non-stop line of speakers being trotted out, one after another.

In my sleep-deprived state, all the speakers are starting to merge as one. Fabulous.

People around me are either spacing out, sleeping outright or playing with their phones.

So are my fellow reporters. Have we ever looked more bored?

Trying out blogging from my mobile

Ever since i signed up for a data plan, i've been obsessively looking for things to do on the go.

Facebook only takes me so far. Cue mobile blogging.

Anyway, i was in batam over the weekend and boy was that good.

It's amazing how a massage can really lift one's spirits.

Even though i had to work, at least i didn't end up feeling like shit.

Or maybe that's cos i escaped with doing radio only. Heh.

Today's Funny, courtesy of my mum

I'm heading off to Batam for the weekend, with the girls and ZW.

Massage haven, here I come to get kneaded and pounded!

Speaking of ZW, my family keeps calling him that, ZW. They say his name is difficult to pronounce. Huh.

Anyway, my mum has the habit of taking down the handphone numbers of the people I'm travelling with (yes friends, my mum can stalk you guys).

So I have her ZW's number. And it's a pretty sweet number. Plenty of eights and easy as pie to remember.

My mum, immediately impressed, starts counting the numbers and plotting her next 4-D bets.

Sigh.

J'adore

After a really crummy day at work (stupid floods are ruining my life!), I was all ready to collapse and was walking around the office like a zombie.

Think 12-hour day, chasing floods, tracking down drains... on an empty stomach.

Thankfully, I have a wonderful support system around me.

I reached home, and my mum promptly steamed up a ba zhang for me, while my sis poured me a stiff drink of choya, straight up.

And still in his work clothes (he came by my office to pick me up), my darling ZW started cooking soup for me.

He even put up with my diva request "I don't like lumps in my soup".

Sure, it was instant soup, but hey, sweet nonetheless. Nothing like a man who knows his way around the kitchen. Sexy.

Pity I still fell sick today. Argh.

Photos!

No cohesive thought running through this post.. just that maybe I should post a few photos up cos the blog is looking kinda boring with all the words, words, words.

I suppose a plausible theme would be that I'm trying to condense a month's worth of events into a 5-minute photo entry.

On that note, I'm the world's crummiest girlfriend. For our one-month anniversary, I gave ZW a crummy card. He on the other hand, gave me a map of the world (cos he wants to travel the world with me... awwww) and created a photo album of our time together so far, complete with notes. I felt like sinking into my chair when he pulled the present out of his bag...

I suppose this is my poor man's version of making up for that imbalance?

So here are some pretty pictures. :D


As most of you know by now, ZW and I met in China. And the chemistry was pretty instant. It's not often you find someone whom you feel comfortable with straight away. We were talking like old friends by the 2nd day of the camp. This is still one of our favourite photos by far.


This was taken on the last day of the camp. If you can detect a slightly sheepish expression on my face, that's cos we both knew something was going on, but neither of us wanted to admit it... Circumstances then made it difficult to imagine that we could be more than friends. Or rather, I didn't want to contemplate a "what-if" scenario, cos daydreaming can be so dangerous.. Guess things worked out differently :)


My birthday! This was taken at Morton's. Yup, I carried a doraemon doll around the fancy restaurant. Haha! We call this the family picture. ZW was using a Polaroid camera that day, with some apparently fancy Black+White film. Huh. I swear by digital cameras. Can take multiple shots, can look at them before deciding to keep or trash. With Polaroid it's just liddat.

Yes, this is my very messy room. Sighhh.. This was taken when we celebrated ZW's birthday. Our birthdays are in fact, just 2 weeks apart. Ahh, 2 Geminis.. I made him a lava chocolate cake which I have to say, was quite delish, if not for a little defect in its appearance...

See, I wasn't bluffing.

Brought him to Picotin for dinner. Great pizzas, but skip the foie gras, and don't wear too many layers cos the air-con is non-existent.


The jacket was my birthday present to ZW. Yes, I know, he's a super poseur. But I love this shot. A) Cos I took it and B) Cos I think he looks preettyy fine. :D

Loving someone is serious business... seriously exhuasting business.

Think the lack of sleep is getting to me. Breakouts, eye bags, water retention.

Gaahhh!!!!

On the bright side, celebrated ZW's birthday yesterday.

I think it was a pretty good day. *satisfied smirk*

The First Month...

Has been filled with love, puzzlement, new discoveries, laughter and anger. Yup, I think we've covered quite a wide range.

It's both exhilarating and scary to know a new person, and attempt to find out if something long term can be established. Especially under our circumstances.

With schedules as mad as ours, we are often left with snatches of time, precious hours after work, stolen moments in between maintaining some normalcy of life.

Throw in friends, family, work, birthdays.. and sleep goes out the window. But I suppose it's a small sacrifice for what I get in return.

It's the small things that leave the deepest impressions. The small gestures, sometimes unconscious, that can cause me to both smile and leave me vexed.

I love how his face can be a picture of serenity, but his ears will turn a flaming red when he's had alcohol, is embarrassed or gets angry.

I love that he gives me bear hugs that feel like my bones are about to break, leaving me breathless and warm.

He doesn't use cologne, but gives off this musky smell that permeates from his skin and gets onto his clothes, that I'm crazy about.

He's real friendly and not shy to strike up a conversation with my family or friends.

Did I mention that he serenaded the KB girls during our KTV session with 张学友's "如果爱", which caused Meibao to ask if he was in choir, and all I could think was " damn, my boyfriend is hawt!"

He has kinda impressed my family with his scholarly achievements, but what really took it over the edge was when he referenced the Great Gatesby during a conversation Cheryl and I was having about Long Island, New York. I caught the glint of surprise and approval on Cheryl's face.

He walks with a slight hunch, and I'm always reminding him to stand up straight.

He gives me these long looks that I'm unable to look away from, and I find myself hopelessly lost in his gaze, no mean feat considering that his eyes are so small (hur hur hur).

He's shown great patience and understanding when I fall into a funk, or get majorly guilt-ridden. At no point did he ever say "snap out of it".

He's so ticklish that I can just give him a "look with intention" and he'd immediately recoil from my touch and burst into laughter.

He likes to ruffle my hair and call me "silly girl" in a tender manner - something that both annoys me and yet, causes me to break into a smile.

Of course, the man is by no means perfect.

He has an awful temper, and is quick to get angry.

Sometimes, I don't even realise that I'm antagonizing him, but he takes it personally and gets real fired up.

He doesn't like dissent, which I do real well. In fact, I'm all for differing opinions, but he hates that.

He rushes into things head first, sometimes without thought, and gets frustrated when I'm not as eager, or quick to get on board.

Er, I know the con list is really short compared to the pro list... but they're BIG cons ok!!!!

I wonder what the next month will bring. :)

Melancholy

Now that some of the initial high of a new relationship has worn off... the hormones have calmed down and the giggly fits have subsided... it feels like my mind is trying to sabotage me.

Woke up in a start this morning, heart pounding. Wished I didn't dream the things I did.

At times, the memories and thoughts of what I've done will creep in, forcing me to confront myself.

I wonder if I'd ever find peace.

The temptation to check on F.. to ask for forgiveness.. is sometimes overwhelming. But I know I can't. And more importantly, I don't deserve it.

Li Wern talks about karma. Of consequences. I wonder if in the end, I may just create a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Because everytime I fall into this rut, I push ZW further away. And it's unfair to him.

I wish I can curl up in his arms all the time and not have to think. Because that's the only time I feel safe and not haunted by my own demons.

This is not something that he can help me with. Except be patient and understanding. I just pray he has both, and thinks I'm worth the effort.

Huh, I was all ready to write a really sweet and dreamy post.

But then, we got into this massive... argument? Heated discussion? Yelling match? It may have been online, but I swear, I could totally imagine us screaming at each other if we were speaking in person.

And what sparked it off? Apple. And world domination.

*insert swear words*