No Man's Land

I'm stuck in limbo. Or rather, I've been royally screwed by my results this semester. Officially the worst semester EVER. And that's taking into account my C from last term... damn. B, B, B+, B+. I'm BORDERLINE. I'm BLOODY screwed. I'm a BO DOH.

So why am I in the middle? My dreams of a magna cum laude have flown away. I'm now at a cum laude. In order to maintain a cum laude, I need 5 Bs and 1 B-. Not too difficult. In order to get a magna, I need 3 A+s and 3 As. Impossible. Absolutely fucking impossible. I might have a better chance if I slept with all my professors, but what happens if I get a female prof???

Anyway, if I give up and accept fate, I can pretty much relax a little. But I feel so dissatisfied. On a logical level, I know there's no way I can achieve such results. Can you imagine how gutted I'd be if I got like 5As (Which is already over-the-moon results)? How can I subject myself to such torture and self-loathing?

So how? What to do? Que sara sara? C'est la vie? Stick it to the man?

I hope the graduation gown doesn't make me look fat. (I know, how random).

Bad Karma Sucks

Went for an internship interview this morning. I applied for this 6 months internship and if I get it, it would mean pushing back one semester and I'd effectively graduated on my original date, i.e. July 2008. However, looking at the signs, I doubt I'd get the job.

Signs of Bad Karma Indeed:
1. I arrive 2 minutes late for my interview when proper ettiquette dictates that I should be at least 5 minutes early.

2. The building (Suntec Tower 4) was damn freaking far from the MRT, which partially explains why I was late, hence causing me to semi-sprint to the building, and arriving kinda crumpled from the heat.

3. I was still sweating throughout the hour-long interview.

4. Worst of all, because I had previously applied to Visa International and proceeded to use pretty much the same template for this internship application (Starwood Hotels and Resorts), and having brazenly declared that I am METICULOUS, my interviewer pointed out that I had referred to Starwood as Visa in my application. -_-''' "It's interesting that you mention you are meticulous because do you know which company you addressed your cover letter to?"

5. And to cap it all off, as I was leaving, I met Regina, this year 4 student who is a) graduating NOW and hence able to take on a full-time position after the internship and b) highly capable and too smart. A quick call to my girls confirmed my worst fears: she's too good.

I'm fucking screwed.

I'm back peeps. And starting summer school in exactly 8 hours and 30 minutes. Someone wake me up from this nightmare.

Beijing was fun, for an organized tour anyway. Plenty of old folks.

Oh, and I sprained my ankle on the last day. So graceful, right?

Update soon. Photo blog to come (I'll try my best).

P.S.: Beijing is a bloodsucker. Ensure pockets are full of green before embarking there.

Cheerios XOXO :)

And I'm Off...

Well, my exams ended (badly, may I add) officially yesterday and I'm off to Beijing! Typing this at the airport while waiting to board the plane... China Airlines - expectations, nothing really. I saw one of their air stewardesses and already, the bar has been lowered significantly.

Ok, I'm currently running on a lack of sleep (3 hours! Football is taking over my life! I love Manchester United! Haha, too bad Watford!!!) and too much coffee. Great.

By the way, Changi Airport has a big problem: stupid, inconsistent immigration officers. Do you know that Changi Airport is trying to implement an automated system? So there I was, lining up like a law-abiding citizen waiting for my passport to be checked. I'm second in the line. Suddenly, this stupid immigration officer asks me to use the automated system. He asked my family specifically. But a bunch of aunties (and I do mean old aunties) got flustered/kiasu and decided to move to the automated queue. Like a huge bunch of old people. Cue lots of problems and taking 3 times more than it would have taken if I had just stayed in the original queue. Stupid, stupid immigration officer. My dad was rightfully outraged. Assholes. Sheesh. What a way to start a vacation.

Ok, it's getting weird typing this cos people are peeking over my shoulder. And I need to board. Toodles! Be back on the 20th!

Miss me. (:

"Me" versus "We"

The dangerous thing about being in a long-term relationship is that "me" starts to blur and "we" seems to take on a stronger persona. Other people start seeing you as part of a unit, and your individuality takes a backseat. I find that fucking annoying. It's like hellloooooo, I'm still me. How about focusing on me for a while, and not just fucking assume it's always we? Don't get me wrong, I love being in a relationship and all, but when fucking ignorant people attempt to address 2 separate people as 1, that just sets me off.

I hate it when people start defining me by using Fadz. Who the hell starts a conversation with "Eh, where's Fadz?" or "Isn't this football night? Where's your better half?" Erm excuse me, who died and made you the expert on what is proper football watching ettiquette? And whatever happened to a simple "You're watching football?"

Of course that pissed me off. And when I tried to reverse the tactic and use the same line of questioning, some people are simply so oblivious, or in this case, lacking in a strong personality, to realize a taunt. Maybe I'm being overly sensitive. But the point is, I refuse to be defined by my relationship. I'm ME. I just happen to be in a relationship, My life is still mine, and you can begin a conversation by asking after ME, thank you very much. It's nice that you enquire about my boyfriend, but when you start a conversation by directly enquiring after him, what does that make me? Chopped liver?

I suppose some people have utterly no character, no personality, no sense of being, other than that as defined by one's surroundings, group associations or friends/family.

Well screw you, you pathetic excuse for a human being. This is ME, Joanne, Goddess of unstable emotions. You acknowledge me, and then perhaps I might acknowledge your existence. Attempt to define me by other people, and you become insignificant to me. Because you obviously don't understand. And you're not worth my time. So bugger off.

You've been warned.

Ramblings

Have moved into Cheryl's digs for the exam period. My block is currently getting a facelift (lift ungrading) and the noise is absolutely intolerable. Coupled with some new neighbours moving in and all that insufferable knocking at random hours of the day... Let's just say I'm not even a mugger normally. But all that noise just seems to make it too easy for me to throw the towel in. Besides, I was getting incredibly cranky. I was starting to glare at anyone who even resembled a constructoin worker. I know, I know, it's not their fault. But hey, I need to channel my angst towards someone, yeah?

I don't think I'm made out for the loner lifestyle. Cheryl is gone for most of the day so I spend my time pottering around an empty house. Locking myself in my room at home is still a vast difference from being all alone in a house from 8am to 9pm (yeah, that's how long civil servants work, so maybe people should layoff them for earning so much). At least I know that if I need some human contact, I can simply walk out of my room and talk to me mum. But over here.. I know no one. I can interact with no one. And I'm BORED STIFF. Where's my cable tv????

Sigh, I'm so looking forward to Beijing. The guide told us to expect sandstorms at least 2 out of 6 days. Goodie. I want a facial but that'd probably take my skin off. Or blow me off the Great Wall. What a spectacular way to end my life.

Hmm, definitely cranky. When I take such great pleasure plotting my own demise, something has GOT to be wrong.