No Man's Land

I'm stuck in limbo. Or rather, I've been royally screwed by my results this semester. Officially the worst semester EVER. And that's taking into account my C from last term... damn. B, B, B+, B+. I'm BORDERLINE. I'm BLOODY screwed. I'm a BO DOH.

So why am I in the middle? My dreams of a magna cum laude have flown away. I'm now at a cum laude. In order to maintain a cum laude, I need 5 Bs and 1 B-. Not too difficult. In order to get a magna, I need 3 A+s and 3 As. Impossible. Absolutely fucking impossible. I might have a better chance if I slept with all my professors, but what happens if I get a female prof???

Anyway, if I give up and accept fate, I can pretty much relax a little. But I feel so dissatisfied. On a logical level, I know there's no way I can achieve such results. Can you imagine how gutted I'd be if I got like 5As (Which is already over-the-moon results)? How can I subject myself to such torture and self-loathing?

So how? What to do? Que sara sara? C'est la vie? Stick it to the man?

I hope the graduation gown doesn't make me look fat. (I know, how random).