Trials and Tribulations of Life on the MRT

Singaporeans are vicious, vicious people. Drivers whine all the time about the bad traffic on the road but until you've been traumatised on the MRT during peak hour, you ain't seen ugly.

Aside from the usual assholes who block the entrance and pretend not to hear you say "Excuse me" until you practically yell in their ear; bastards who read newspapers (the big Straits Times, not Today) despite passengers being pressed chest to chest and hence inevitably whacking everyone around him/her with the stupid paper; jerks who lean on the pole and leave a whole group of passengers to wobble precariously whenever the MRT jerks; the poseurs who choose the "speaker" option on their phones and blast emo music and ignore the death glares directed at their way . I hate these people.

I hate going to school in the morning. Seriously. It is possibly the most horrifying experience EVER. I attempt to take the through train that goes directly to City Hall instead of having to transfer at Jurong East. Sometimes I manage to hop on the earlier train at 7.34am, but usually I'm stuck with the 7.44am one. Bad choice. By the time the train gets to Bukit Gombak, people are semi-pressed against the door. I feel really bad when I take advantage of pockets of space and squeeze in, but when there's really no way, I give up. But yesterday, when I made it into the train, this stupid guy used his stupid back and pushed backwards, creating some space for himself. But seeing how he might be caught by the closing train doors, he squeezed behind me and effectively squashed me between his belly and the train door. I was stuck in that position, my back against his belly, face against door, until I reached Jurong. Dickhead.

I fervently hoped that my trial was over but noooooo, the train gods have to test me. I was standing next to this Indian woman and we were near one of the poles. She was standing 3 seats away but STRETCHED her hand across the space and held on to the pole with a death grip. Was it because she was falling? No. It was to block me from accessing any seats that might suddenly be available. She was basically reserving 3 seats and the probability that someone would get up soon. Bloody bitch. We were near the door so more and more passengers kept pressing into the cabin and squashing me, but she obstinately refused to move despite space in the middle opening up. Arrrgh!!! In frustration, I pushed past her to the empty spot and STILL, her death grip persisted. The only consolation I received was that she left before anyone stood up. HAHAHAHAHA, the gods have spoken, bitch!

And another thing we're all guilty of is profiling. We all do it. In a bid to get a seat, you assess the people seated and attempt to make a guess as to who would get up soon. The ones dressed in suits --> headed for town. The ones dressed not so well --> most likely destined for the industrial parks and suburb offices. And people with laptops? Dover / Singapore Poly. That might explain why people refuse to move once they have zeroed in on a potential target. The belief that a person was going to get up soon.

Me? I'm equally culpable. One time during the peak hour on my way home, I zoomed in on this Indian/Bangla-looking dude. I know it's stereotyping and racism, but I usually associate the Banglas with 2 locations: Jurong West (bad) and Outram (good). Good because that means they are leaving soon and I will get the seat. So when I saw that this Bangla was dressed quite well, I thought perhaps he was going to Little India for a little R&R. So I stood in front of him. When we arrived at Outram, a Chinese dude 2 seats down got off. -_-''' I never said it was a science.

But the ultimate gross act has to be people who think of the MRT as a grooming station and attempt to groom themselves in PUBLIC. The nail clippers, nose diggers, hair pluckers. Argh, argh, argh. And how do they pluck hair? Easy. Take 2 10-cent coins, use said coins like tweezers and by positioning hair follicle between coins, tug until hair comes free. Of course, remember to fling body waste around the cabin because the other passengers DON'T MIND.

Fuck. I truly hate these Singaporeans/foreigners. See, I'm not racist. I just hate motherfuckers who don't have respect for public property, regardless of race, language or religion.