I'm still in the office, waiting for my editor to clear my story. So that I can voice and produce it in time for it's broadcast tomorrow morning.

And it seems like he's never gonna finish before midnight.

Whine, whine, whine, I hate working nights.

It's creepsville in the office.

And dead tired does not even begin to describe how exhuasted I am right now.

Nut-nut is not a term of endearment

I read in 8 Days that Fann Wong calls Christopher Lee "爱爱" in private as a term of endearment.

As if struck by a bolt of inspiration, I turned to Fadz one evening and starting calling him "love-love" in my most manja of voices.

And of course, being Fadz, he gave me his patented "what the bleagh!" look.

Annoyed, I told him to christen a term of endearment for me too.

After a short pause, guess what the brilliant man comes up with?

NUT NUT.

So pleased with himself, he called me nut-nut nonstop for the next 5 minutes.

Why, someone please tell me, why I'm in love with a sadist?

Excuse me, are you really gay?

Man, am I confused (I seem to be doing a lot of that recently, eh?)

But, seriously, does this look like a gay man to you?

This was from a shoot for Details magazine (gotta love liberal America!)

I love Adam Lambert, his voice is practically an orgasm.

And I was really cool with the whole gay thing, cos his talent outshone his sexual preference.

But that's how I view Adam. And now this?

Again, how is that a gay man???

Frankly, I think he's bi.

Confused

Huh, the 4-day work week party seems to be over.

If you recall, my dear company reduced our working hours and our pay at the start of the year due to the financial crisis.

This meant I had a 4-day work week, but less moolah to throw around.

And I really got attached to the shorter work week. Ah the glory of flitting in and out of empty shopping centres on a weekday! (of course, I also had less money to spend, so it was a weird catch-22 situation).

Well, seems like the ol' company is bouncing back, and the 5-day week is being reinstated.

That means the old pay is back to.

But but but.... back to a 5-day week?

However will I survive?

Just Plain Crazy

I've only been working for like what, 1.5 years? So aside from the various part time jobs that I did during the school holidays, I would probably say I still have a lot of the world to see.

And that includes dealing with crazy, manipulative, psychotic co-workers who masquerade as friends.

Seriously.

See, there's this person in my office whom I thought I was getting along with rather well, together with a third colleague.

We'd hang out, meet on our off-days, eat, shop, go for drinks after work.

Then things started to get crazy.

The two women (in case you can't guess from the obvious hormonal overdrive) had some squabble, screamed at each other, engaged in a cold war... and then it kinda tapered off.

Now admittedly, let's call her... X... well X, is not an easy person to get along with.

She's super protective of HER space, if a speck of dust blows in from your direction towards her, she'd hold you accountable for being dirty and intruding on her space. We sometimes share equipment to do our work, but beware if you dare to touch HER things. And if you leave her workspace different from the way she left it, all hell breaks loose.

She'd get into a snit, ignore you (if you're lucky), or tear you to shreds with malicious, harsh words.

She sometimes alternates between bursting into hysterical laughter in the office over unknown causes, or will ignore you for days over something you may or may not know that you did which offended her.

But when she needs a favour, she'd look at you with wide eyes and start talking again.

Anyway, you know me lah... you want to act like a two-face person, annoy me, and I blow up.

Hey, I'm definitely not perfect either. But at least I'm upfront about it. You piss me off, I let you know it.

So somehow, I managed to piss her off in... I THINK... the last two weeks. That's when the icy chill started anyway.

She wouldn't speak to me, answer my questions in monosyllables, attempt to rearrange her face into a blank stare, but I can obviously feel she doesn't want to have anything to do with me.

And it's really uncomfortable, because she sits next to me.

After dealing with her moody shit for so long, I really can't be bothered to find out how I offended her this time. It's really ludicrous.

So I gave it back to her. You can practically feel the Berlin Wall going up between our two workspaces.

But she REALLY pissed me off when she deleted my birthday greeting on Facebook. I mean, seriously? Are you nuts? That petty?

So whatever man. I totally did not want to get in the middle of the THING she was having with my other colleague.

But since that incident, I suppose you can say she's drawn the battle lines.

And yeah, the other colleague isn't talking to her either.

Yawnz... working 12-16 hour shifts ain't fun honey.

Suddenly, I find myself pulled in a bazillion directions at work. And of course, everyone has their own agenda. So what's mine? Just treading water and trying to keep my head above the surface.

Haha, and I think I managed to piss off a gay editor. Called him and another guy "Bert and Ernie". Soooo did not appreciate that. Warned me about OB markers and crossing the boundary. Whatever dude.

Trust me to have a foot in mouth moment, right?

Anyway, nothing like a bit of Glee to perk me up.

Bear in mine the kids are supposed to be high on drugs. Which explains the bad dancing and super fast speeches.

It was girls vs boys week!

Girls rocked vocally, but the hair flipping just flippin' annoyed me!

And Finn is a hilariously bad dancer!

Fucking Incompetence

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Seething with rage at the moment, in case you can't tell.

Nothing annoys me more than incompetence and poor planning. Especially last minute changes.

Especially when I've made plans that are destroyed through no fault of mine.

knn. Just because I'm cheerful and easygoing, does not mean I appreciate being used as the last resort to sort out your mess.

Get your bloody act together, before too many people recognise your incompetence.

I'm not talking about the 3Fs - family, Fadz, friends.

Go imagine what else in my life can fuck me up so badly.

Tragedy, Joanne style

Let me tell you a tragic life story, MY tragic life story.

So today, I get recalled from my off day because there's a housing story and that's my beat.

That's ok, not that tragic. Quite commonplace, in fact.

I dress casually, all ready to run around to do interviews on the streets later.

Not my favourite part of the job, but again, not tragic.

My event ends and I'm supposed to go on air in 10 minutes to give a live report.

Needing to pee badly, I rush off to the toilet.

Here's where it gets tragic.

In my haste to answer nature's call, and get my act together in time to file a LIVE report, I tug a little too vigorously on my jean's zip.

AND THEN THE ZIP SPLITS.

Panicking, I pull my shirt in a lame attempt to cover my gaping crotch.

If I don't move too much, it's actually quite hard to tell that my zip's updone.

But for the rest of the day, I'm tugging my shirt, adjusting my pants, all in a lame attempt not to flash my white undies at the rest of Singapore.

In the office, at the canteen, out on the streets....

Sigh.

Why do such things happen to me?

That's another thing that goes on my shopping list.