What are we rushing for?

In life, some people are always pushing to accomplish something, rushing towards some pre-determined goal.

Every second is precious and every second not spent on trying to achieve your goal is a second wasted.

I'm not like that at all. I think i'm already so harrassed by work that i spend every non-work minute trying NOT to think, trying not to plan.

Because i'm forced to plan every second of my work. From the moment i start work, and this refers to the moment i hop onto the cab for my assignment.. I'm already planning.

Planning what to say, whom to interview, how to compose my story, how to optimise every minute so that i can meet daily deadlines, serve all platforms, and still go home on time.

Just today, i was harrassed by a comms person about what i wanted to ask a potential interviewee. This, after not giving the reporters any time to formulate a thought following the end of a briefing.

She kept harrassing and harrassing until i snapped and asked for a second to think and collect my thoughts.

So i'm incredibly possesive of my downtime to unwind after a day of being on edge.

It's critical to my well-being and sanity.

And i react violently to suggestions that i'm not living my life in a fulfilling manner simply because i'm not rushing to accomplish something.

I happen to like vegging out in front of mind-wasting tv.

I happen to like spending time catching up with my friends and family.

I happen to like not having to stress over my life and worry, worry, worry that i don't have a 'target' that i'm working towards.

I think the whole 'need to rush' feeling is a by-product of feeling one's mortality too keenly. That life is going to pass by too quickly. That you haven't left your mark on the world.

Me? I don't worry about that. I rather leave a strong impression on my loved ones, and know that they remember me fondly.

And that i also remembered to love myself, and not constantly have my panties in a bunch.

Apologies for the babble rant. Incredibly sleepy but also needed to get something off my chest.

Ok i'm done.