Something is stirring in the wind. Can't tell you what, as it may just be that - a passing breeze that will blow over.
But the thing about change is, it's bloody scary. Be it relationship, job, or even your favourite pair of shoes. Trying on something new can be terrifying simply for being unknown. And being someone who specialises in self-doubt, the usual questions are crowding my brain.
"What if it's worse?" "What if you fail?" "Why can't you just be happy and contented with what you have?"
Sure, some people revel in the unknown, call it exciting and look forward to a brand new experience. But that's when you're in control. When you know the outcome, when you can decide if the situation goes well or poorly. Like cooking. New recipes are fun to try out and if you fail, well try again.
But alas, life is not that case. You usually just get one shot to get things right, if not, see ya.
Adding to the confusion - when you don't know if you really want the new thing. I'm a highly indecisive person. Usually, I'm a let-the-wind-blow-and-see-where-it-takes-me kind of person. Until a strong enough gust comes along, I'm rarely the one to make a move. I sit, I wait, I look, I pine, I sulk, I ponder, but ultimately, I'm not the one to take the first step.
Unless I'm high and full of alcohol/stupidity/oh-what-the-heck confidence. Like when I dared ZW to kiss me 7 days after we first met, or to leave me alone and stop sending me mixed signals. Yes, I grabbed THAT bull by the horn.
Well, let's see if this latest development is a typhoon or merely a breeze that tickled my ankle.
Now back to regular programming.
But the thing about change is, it's bloody scary. Be it relationship, job, or even your favourite pair of shoes. Trying on something new can be terrifying simply for being unknown. And being someone who specialises in self-doubt, the usual questions are crowding my brain.
"What if it's worse?" "What if you fail?" "Why can't you just be happy and contented with what you have?"
Sure, some people revel in the unknown, call it exciting and look forward to a brand new experience. But that's when you're in control. When you know the outcome, when you can decide if the situation goes well or poorly. Like cooking. New recipes are fun to try out and if you fail, well try again.
But alas, life is not that case. You usually just get one shot to get things right, if not, see ya.
Adding to the confusion - when you don't know if you really want the new thing. I'm a highly indecisive person. Usually, I'm a let-the-wind-blow-and-see-where-it-takes-me kind of person. Until a strong enough gust comes along, I'm rarely the one to make a move. I sit, I wait, I look, I pine, I sulk, I ponder, but ultimately, I'm not the one to take the first step.
Unless I'm high and full of alcohol/stupidity/oh-what-the-heck confidence. Like when I dared ZW to kiss me 7 days after we first met, or to leave me alone and stop sending me mixed signals. Yes, I grabbed THAT bull by the horn.
Well, let's see if this latest development is a typhoon or merely a breeze that tickled my ankle.
Now back to regular programming.
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