Sigh... i wonder how humans are supposed to handle all the curveballs thrown to them. i can't speak for everyone, but i'm an emotional basketcase; the slightest thing can make a extremely happy, or crazy with sorrow. sigh. and in less than 24 hours, my life was brighter than anything, before crashing into the darkest abyss. sigh...
last night, fadz came over to return the umbrellas he borrowed. that was his excuse anyway. and he told me that he was booking in at 10. so i figured he wasn't staying very long. turns out that was only an excuse so that he could see me. he came at about 9--ish, and laid on my bed (beside me) as i was frantically trying to study MA with Shawn through msn. he didn't bother me, nor did he really expect much attention. he just came to accompany me and offer me moral support. for 2 hours. awwww.... my heart was singing with joy and i was really touched by this gesture. this love that bound him to my side, doing nothing much besides looking at the ceiling or my back.... knowing his warm presence was just a touch away... sigh.... i adore that fella.
but... as usual... all good things must be balanced out by negative elements. that's just the way life works. balance. to some extent, i've come to terms with it. so anyway, my MA exam was today. couldn't do the freaking paper. yup. i'm quite sure that i would fail. so that would mean that my overall grade is going ddoooowwwwnnn.... like some bad horror movie, i see my grade sliding towards the darkness, the danger, and yet, im paralysed with fear (or ignorance in this case), helpless to stop it. bah.
a while back, there was this report in the Straits Times about blogging. it made the comment that a lot of teens use the blog to write down this angst. teenage angst to be precise. i dunno if i'm still considered a teenager, but i sure know i have a lot of angst. when will i grow out of it??? when will i become cynical, jaded and too cool to be happy or miserable? haha, i don't see it ever happening.
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