I'm on a rage rampage

I'm On A Rage Rampage

Sigh, life can get so depressing. and that's really weird, considering how it's Christmas time and all. ok, this sudden bout of self-pity has been brought about due to me being 1) stuck being Geraldine's slave until the end of December; 2) I'm freaking damn broke; 3) Geraldine's fucked-up, racist comment.

But i'm most disturbed by her racist comment that all malays are good-for-nothings, including Fadzli. Just because she has encountered a few malays that don't turn up for appointments, she thinks that all malays do not know how to capture opportunities and are hence useless. and just because fadz went to RI and then AJC, that means that he is a good-for-nothing too for not fulfilling his potential. I was so, so mad. i wanted to hurl something at her and call her all sorts of mean things, that miserable spinster who doesn't even know what love is. all she does know is how to calculate a person's worth through her hard, cold, HR eyes. she doesn't see past academic worth because that's all she knows. what would she know about the intricacies of a relationship? who is she to comment about a person's worth? she, when she has so much more potential, chooses to stay in a dead-end job and entertainment a fucked-up boss when she could move on. again, how is she qualified to judge a person's worth?

sheesh, and she's always so self-righteous and constantly tries to fish for compliments and be told that she's needed. i mean, for someone so insecure, she sure has a lot of opinions about people. bah. i know i shouldn't be talking about my sister like this, but she can such a hypocrite. she can smile at you and ooze warmth, but underneath that facade, she's just a cold and cynical fake. bleah.

and i think back on all the times when she would nudge and "graciously" offer to treat me and Fadz to a meal. how's that for fakeness? if you really think that someone is not good enough, don't go the extra mile to make that person feel welcome. it's disgusting. even when it's your own sister.

what am i going to do? how can i stand being around someone like that?

and by the way, what difference does it make that someone is from RI or RGS? most of them end up in NUS anyway. hah.