On the Edge

My nerves are shot, tolerance is low, and basically a lot of things have been irritating the hell out of me lately. I used possess the lovely skill of being able to ignore a lot of things. Even when people are bitching all around me, I try my best to just smile and not say anything too rude; I really do believe in karma.

Well, it seems that my latest outlook on life is screw karma: let's bitch about the world and screw the consequences.

I get very irritated by people wearing too short skirts. No just mini skirts, but freaking see-my-ass-world! micro minis. Fat people, thin people, bo dai zi people... all of them piss me off equally.

I hate it when fat people wear short airy skirts: hello, your thunder thighs are jiggling in my face and really, I so don't need to see your fat ass popping out of of the skirt.

And thin people piss me off too. It's like, fine, I know you're skinny, do you need to wear a skirt that looks more like a tube top??? Do I need to see another hip bone jutting out of your too-small skirt? Do you think people enjoy looking at 2 skeletal legs poking out from a frilly piece of scrap material? The answer is NO, bimbo, keep the sticks to yourself and bemoan your sad state everytime you stare into the mirror of anorexia and bulimia.

Just yesterday, this perfectly normal girl was walking in front of us, wearing this super short, brown frilly skirt. The bitching session began almost immediately. What were the choice comments? "Her legs are not slender, wear so short for what?" "She walks like a man" (personal favourite) "Hey, the front of her skirt is longer than the back, someone should tell her to pull it down" "Is that her ass showing?"

Well, if I'm going to hell, at least I have company.

What else has been pissing me off lately? Indians who talk like they are on their last breathe. Who feel the need to make a comment after EVERY SINGLE THING the professor says. Indians who trip over themselves trying to vie for speaking time in class. In Finance class the other day, this Indian couldn't stop talking and talking and talking and it totally grated on my nerves. So what did I do? I looked him straight in the face and rolled my eyes. I don't know if he got the message, considering the patented thick-skinned behaviour of most of their kind.

Girls who giggle like hyenas piss me off. Boring professors piss me off. People who can't stop talking to me when all I want to do is brood and think, piss me off.

Gads, I'm in a foul mood this morning. It's so not fun going home at 12 every week after an exhuasting training session, only to wake up at 6.20 the next morning to go for the shittiest, most boring class on this planet. I'm so sleepy I can hardly think. And so, all the negative thoughts are brimming to the surface. (Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble...)

Have you ever experienced that? Sometimes happy thoughts require too much effort; you need to focus and let the good vibe come over you. You have to reach out and and try to grab those few strands of joy, and it can be oh so tiring. But with negativity, it's like a virus that just spreads and spreads. Fighting it is a futile exercise. But if you embrace this virus, you can seek comfort in its dark recessess, shutting off from the world and basically letting your soul go to hell. Sweet, sweet oblivion.