Flirt

I think women give off a lot of mixed signals when they are around guys. This may be a generalization, but women tend to flirt when around men, consciously or otherwise. Do we do it for the thrill of the chase, to bounce off signals and see if we get anything in return, to feel desirable, or do we do things without even realizing its impact?

All these thoughts hit me today when I was recording my weekly radio show with my co-host, Shah. Around guys that I have known for a while (and sometimes guys whom I do not know at all), I would, I dunno, tease and flirt a little. Everything completely harmless. And usually, I don't realize that I'm doing such things until some one (usually a girl) points it out. But for some reason, I felt like I was a separate entity watching "Joanne" interact with Shah.

I didn't even mean anything serious. Things like looking at him mischieviously with a twinkle in my eye, teasing him to provoke some kind of response, doing shoulder bumps to make a point, leaning into his personal space to read what he is reading... I wasn't trying to create any romantic illusions. Honestly.

Somehow, call it female intuition or whatever, I noticed a subtle change in his attitude. Almost as if the air changed, or his attitude towards me changed. So did my actions provoke some kind of reaction? I think so. Was I flirting? Perhaps. Why? I honestly have no idea.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not attempting to jump into another relationship. I'm not trying to create any kind of romantic spark. I'm not trying to provoke a reaction to show that I'm still desirable to men. It's just something I think I always do, and I wonder how many people I might have misled into thinking that I was into them, when all I was doing was playing?

I guess it's ok when both parties know that it's harmless and flirt for the fun and heck of it. You know the scenario: Boy and girl exchange signals all in the name of fun. It's fun to have that zing. As long as you know the zing is innocent. I'm not sure if I'm making enough sense.

But I don't think I'm alone on this. I guess a lot of it is really subconscious and depends on how the other party interprets the signal. How much the other party wants it to mean something.

The mating game is never easy. I suppose the only way we can possibly find a right partner is if we keep trying, keep sending out signals, and hope that eventually, some of those signals come back positive. So even around friends, we unconsciously/consciously (whatever, take your pick) send out signals, just to see if anything would happen.

This sounds like a pointless entry. Just an observation on my part. I attribute this reflection to something else, but since I've washed enough dirty laundry in public, I shall say no more.