It's the new year!!

And I spent it in the most awesome manner... not working and in the company of my loved ones.

If today is any indication of the year ahead, I'm a happy girl.

There's nothing like waking up next to your loved one and rolling over for a big hug, spending a stormy afternoon baking in the kitchen while rocking out to great music, before settling down to a gut-busting sukiyaki dinner with the family.

Would have been the perfect day as I winded down in the evening with some good ol' travel research (yup, love the stuff).....

Until I opened FB and received a friend request from the ex. Huh. Left me speechless for a couple of minutes.

He spoke about new beginnings and stuff and left the ball in my court, i.e. it's up to me to add him. Or not. Not sure if he really wants me as a friend, wants to believe that everything is cool between us so that his conscience is clear before he proposes to his new girlfriend (haha!), or what.

Never was quite sure of what he was thinking of before, even less sure now.

So rather than speculate what he thinks.. here's what I think. I think it's weird. I know Alan and Li Wern said never say never and all that. That we are all adults and it's all in the past and we should shake hands and move on.

But my FB is a highly personal medium. I post a lot of inappropriate things on it, I add personal pictures and my life is quite an open, visual book.

To have the ex privy to that again is... weird. Similarly, do I want access to his life, to possible updates and pictures of his new relationship?

Sure, I know he reads my blog (or at least he did post-breakup) and I'm highly personal here too.

But that's HIS choice. He chooses to read my thoughts. If we're friends on FB, we're FORCED by the sheer nature of FB to see each other's updates, like a tiny prick on our conscious. And if I configured it such that I don't receive updates on him, then I might as well not add him, right?

Fadz will always be a part of me and I cherish certain memories of us together. There will always be certain triggers that evokes a memory that will bring a smile to my face, both bittersweet or otherwise.

But that's all the reminder I need of a life I once had.

I know some exes can be friends, but I'm not one of those people. How do you do it, anyway?

Maybe, maybe in the future, it might be possible. After all, we did make pretty good friends. Heck, we shared so many common interests, which might explain how we fell into a relationship.

But for now at least, it's simply... too weird.