Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas!

Merriest Christmas! I love the festive season! Yes, there is the tedious and seemingly endless gift-shopping and painful elbowing through the throngs of hundreds in Orchard, but i do think it's all worth it. hah. take that scrooge!

i spent christmas eve (and christmas morning) with Fadz at HangOut@Mt.Emily. It's this incredibly chic and secluded hotel in the middle of Little India that overlooks Mt. Emily Park. It's surrounded by landed property and is next to this deserted and incredibly spooky mansion that gives me the creeps. hohoho. But surprisingly, it was fully booked. Probably because it was featured in 8 days. and there were groups of people who went there for parties and countdowns.

but i digress. anyway, it was wonderful spending the night with fadz. we went for indian food at some little indian restaurant where we were made fun of by the waiter (hah, for once we were in a place where we were equally culturally-inept). we walked all the way to bugis before deciding that it would be more fun just spending time alone. so back to the hotel. haha, i wish i could do it more often.

we exchanged gifts at 12 midnight. i gave fadz part of his gift; the Undead VCD. yes, yes, i know, how sad and stupid a movie that is... but his look of incredulous and happiness made the embarrassment i suffered while purchasing it all worthwhile. i had to leave his 2nd present, the CD rack at home cos it was just impossible to bring there. fadz gave me this super cute GUESS? bag. oh man, it must have cost him quite a bit... but i love it to bits, and i love him to bits!

waiting for my dad to get home; haven't opened the presents from the folks yet... can't wait!!!

Merry Christmas! it's the season for lluuurrrvveeee!

I'm on a rage rampage

I'm On A Rage Rampage

Sigh, life can get so depressing. and that's really weird, considering how it's Christmas time and all. ok, this sudden bout of self-pity has been brought about due to me being 1) stuck being Geraldine's slave until the end of December; 2) I'm freaking damn broke; 3) Geraldine's fucked-up, racist comment.

But i'm most disturbed by her racist comment that all malays are good-for-nothings, including Fadzli. Just because she has encountered a few malays that don't turn up for appointments, she thinks that all malays do not know how to capture opportunities and are hence useless. and just because fadz went to RI and then AJC, that means that he is a good-for-nothing too for not fulfilling his potential. I was so, so mad. i wanted to hurl something at her and call her all sorts of mean things, that miserable spinster who doesn't even know what love is. all she does know is how to calculate a person's worth through her hard, cold, HR eyes. she doesn't see past academic worth because that's all she knows. what would she know about the intricacies of a relationship? who is she to comment about a person's worth? she, when she has so much more potential, chooses to stay in a dead-end job and entertainment a fucked-up boss when she could move on. again, how is she qualified to judge a person's worth?

sheesh, and she's always so self-righteous and constantly tries to fish for compliments and be told that she's needed. i mean, for someone so insecure, she sure has a lot of opinions about people. bah. i know i shouldn't be talking about my sister like this, but she can such a hypocrite. she can smile at you and ooze warmth, but underneath that facade, she's just a cold and cynical fake. bleah.

and i think back on all the times when she would nudge and "graciously" offer to treat me and Fadz to a meal. how's that for fakeness? if you really think that someone is not good enough, don't go the extra mile to make that person feel welcome. it's disgusting. even when it's your own sister.

what am i going to do? how can i stand being around someone like that?

and by the way, what difference does it make that someone is from RI or RGS? most of them end up in NUS anyway. hah.

Weeee... i'm back!

Weeee... I'm back!

My blog has been acting up. everytime i try to upload a new entry, it wouldn't work. let's hope this proves to be the exception i'm waiting for.

my, my, it almost seems like i've taken a hiatus from cronicling my notoriously boring life. unfortunately, life has taken a even more boring turn, and hence, in an attempt to cure me of some of this amassing boredom, i'm gonna write about it. hah.

so what's been up with me lately? nothing much. finished the Show Me The Money Bootcamp on Friday. And my team won! ok, not the original team, cos 2 members dropped out at the zenith minute. but then choon kiat jumped in and lo and behold, our crazy, last-minute presentation kicked the asses of the other contestants. it's moments like this that truly tests one's faith and endurence.

aside from the working aspect of my life, things have been.... very quiet. hung out with the boyfriend as usual. we are settling into a routine of monotone. sometimes, it gets so mundane i feel like wrapping my fingers around him and shaking him so hard until something happens. fat chance of that happening. anyway, we did cook dinner for the family. well, he cooked a lot of it. muahaha, a house husband anyone?

stalking sheena's blog sometimes gives me insight. strange as it may sound, i'm getting moments of wisdom from one of the most screwed up, fucked up (literally and figuratively) 19-year olds i know. when 2 people have been too long together, that comfort zone that inexplicably surrounds you makes you not see the need to put in effort. it's like, it doesn't matter how i look anymore. cos i have my guy. that's the logic. but that's terrible! i feel like i'm losing my sensuality and sexiness. muahaha, yes, i believe i did once posess those 2 traits, no matter in how small amounts. sigh, do i need to jump a random guy to put that spark back into me?

oh well, let's see how things go. maybe i'll just go buy sexy underwear and seduce the boyfriend. bugger it. assuming he doesn't fall asleep on my couch first.

It's All Over... Finally

It's All Over... Finally

Sigh, that's such a loaded title for this entry. Yes, my exams are finally over. They've actually been over since the 26th, but the horror was only partially over. I have received a couple of my results. B- for MA (damn that hwang...) and B+ for BGS (not great either). bah, such pathetic grades. really. but i guess i asked for it. it's not like i've been working damn hard or anything...

anyway, currently going through this business workshop in SMU. yes, i know, how pathetic... i'm in school for a WORKSHOP and it's the holidays... joanne joanne joanne... what are you thinking?

anyway, it's been a wakeup call. everyone wants to start a business, be their own boss, yada yada yada.... BUT, like everyone has been telling us, only 20% will make it. and even then, a lot of people will fail. yes, i know all this, i've heard it numerous times at other seminars and workshops. i've even managed to be optimistic in spite of that. but for some reason, it's really hitting home this time. cos we have to actually sit down and research, market and survey, and finally come up with a business plan. the real deal. and we're pitching our business to venture capitalists on friday. so yes, it's very real, and very practical.

at the same time, i may have great ideas, but until i implement them, they will always just be inside my head. and i'm not sure if i'm ready for all the sacrifices. i have no money, no contacts, no nothing. all i have are ideals and ideas. am i really willing to let my relationships with my family, friends and boyfriend slide just to make money? am i willing to take the step now, and go forth for my dreams, when i still have to consider my academic life which is in the pits?

arrgh, and mostly, whatever i think of, there will be people out there who have also thought of similar ideas and have the means to implement the idea. i guess it boils down to this question, "Just how hard am i willing to work?"

as many of you may know, i'm really a lazy shitass most of my time. i LOVE to just do nothing. so i guess daydreaming will always remain daydreaming.

my my, time and cynicism have finally set in. goodbye perky, optimistic me. hello cynical bitch. sigh.....