I'm damn thirsty

Li Wern broke up with her boyfriend. Finally. If this sounds mean, well, try listening to that woman whine and promising to end the relationship for the past gazillion months. I'm just glad it's over. woo hah!

We went to Alley Bar for some girly talk. Lol, so much for trying to save up. Drank a lychee martini, cosmopolitan, and then on a whim, we decided to end the day on a good note with the karma sutra. that is basically 5 vodka, liquer-flavoured shots. Yup, definitely a high. I think towards the end we were talking too loudly, discussing how best she should flirt with a guy so that she could lay him and get over her horniness... yup, definitely on a high. The waiters were all looking at us in amusement. Oh well... =)

Look what turned up in my mailbox. it's amazing how a transsexual can sum up all the things that a woman feels. hehe...

When I am a girl, my life will be sweet.

Boys'd buy me jewels in hopes of a treat.
When I am a girl, I'll be a conniver,

I'll gossip to friends and be a worse driver.
When I am a girl, I'll have sensitive feelings.

Climb the corporate ladder, straight into glass ceilings.
When I am a girl, I'll resent that the gents

Earn a dollar compared to my seventy cents.
I'll go out to bars, bat my eyelids and squeal.

Pretend not to notice dudes copping a feel.
When I am a girl, I'll giggle and wink.

I'll flirt with the studs and never pay for a drink.
When I am a girl, I'll obsess if I'm slim.

I'll count the net carbs and never go to the gym.
When I am a girl, I'll envy your noodle

I'll need a support group to pee like a poodle.
When I am a girl, I'll get excited for hours,

I'll never wear panties and have a weakness for flowers.
I'll play with all day, my bundle of nerves

And never give up what no man deserves.
Then one week a month I'll have an excuse

To spread venom, and hatred and mental abuse.
But the thing to which I look forward the most,

The thing to which all the girls will toast,
Is the turning of any innocent spat

Into: "OH MY GOD! ARE YOU SAYING I'M FAT???"
So for all of these reasons and infinite more

I can hardly contain my feminine lore.
For when I am a girl I'll marry some jerk

So I can eat bonbons and let him go to work.
I'll cut my hair short and since I'll be a wife,

I'll gain five pounds a year, for the rest of my life.
But now back to real life for Helga The Virgin

As known on the corner where I earn for the surgeon.

Damn, but my tag-board is down. Help! Help! What is happening?