Hello, I'm Dork Vadar

Nope, not referring to myself, I'm way to cool for that. For some weird reason, I'm surrounded by NUS engineering people. My boss is one; the other temp is also an NUS engineering undergrad.

Don't get me wrong, the girls are perfectly fine. (Jing Yi don't kill me!) There's just something wrong with the men. Maybe the NUS air, combined with male hormones, creates this dysfunctional breed of men.

How we've all heard horror stories of engineering men at clubs, with bad dressing and even worse pickup lines. Those, we're familiar with. The socially inept gorillas, bane of every clubbing girl.

But let me now introduce to you another peculiar specy: humus havenotgrownupus. They're the eternal boys, to put it mildly. Forever lost in the long-ago memories of their childhood sandbox, these boy-men are nervous around women, sometimes awkward in speech and always surprising to a totally urbanized and modern gal. (cue: me)

My boss was nervous around me the first few days. I've been described as aggressive before: do I intimidate grown men as well? Previously, he would swallow repeatedly when talking to me. LOL, at least now he no longer minds his Ps and Qs around me and we have been known to share a laugh together.

Now, the other curious specimen I'm about to dissect is also a temp at the Office of Registrar at RP. He's a second year NUS engineering student. Seeing how he is also a RI alumni, I felt I had to be friendly to him out of courtesy to Fadz.

Two words: He's weird.

Today at lunch, he exhibited silly behaviour. He asked me what dessert I wanted and I said attap jelly. And he was like "grass jelly?"

Me: "attap jelly."

Him: "grass jelly?"

Me: "attap jelly!"

Him: "grass jelly? grass jelly? grass jelly?"

No, he's not a moron. He just found doing that very funny. My eyes nearly popped out from too much eye rolling.

We proceeded to have a casual conversation over dessert. The topic somehow veered towards relationships, and I asked him what kind of girls he liked. Anyway, you all know I'm a strongly advocate guy-watching and every guy I meet, I passed on the incredibly useful knowledge that girls like looking at nice male tushes. He then followed up with: "Well, I suppose boobs and butts represents the person's... you know... organs" and "If you're not visually satisfied, how do you.. you know...copulate... and copulation is the key to a successful marriage".

I burst out into horrified laughter and amazement. The last time I used the word "copulate" was when I was writing an article about Aphrodisiacs for a school newsletter. The first thing out of my mouth was "sex? you mean sex? why can't you say the word sex? are you offended and can't say sex?" He then turned incredibly red and said "Yeah... besides, I think corpulate sounds nicer". I couldn't stop laughing for the next 10 minutes. I was sitting next to a real-life prude/conservative, all at the ripe old age of 23. How brilliant.

And the piece de la resistance would have to be when I was walking towards the office. Because all the doors are only accessible by a pass, it's a little inconvenient. I thought he was being chivarous when he held the door open for me. Upon walking nearer, he suddenly let the door close. I thought he wanted to let the door slam in my face. But at the last moment, he kept the door open by squatting and bumping the door open with his butt! Oh gosh, I think my jaw dropped immediately! Eh, has being in a boys school during your developmental period completely warp your ability to associate with normal people?

Haha, or, can we draw the connection that NUS engineering is, well, a breeding ground for a new kind of dorks?

Enter the Dork Vadar, beware his light saber of moronic behaviour

Tee hee hee. I'm so mean.