Somebody Please Shoot Me

Bloody, bloody hell! I'm down with food poisoning! Do you know how much that sucks? I can't go to work (hello, I'm missing the money, not the work), I can't go out, I can't even think straight. At least now it's just discomfort. Yesterday, I was convinced that I was in the bowels of hell.

I'm not too sure what triggered it off. But I believe it began yesterday at breakfast. I got up, as usual, at 7.10am and went to eat breakfast. That consisted of butter toast, sausage and Vitagen. Now, Cheryl (my sister) ate the same thing, but she seems fine. Which brings me to the conclusion that I was poisoned by the GODDAMN VITAGEN, the only variable in our breakfast.

So anyway, after breakfast, I immediately had a diarrhea attack, but I thought that was normal because whenever I drink milk (be it normal milk or bloody CULTURED MILK) in the morning, I kinda get diarrhea. Don't ask me why I still do it. Sometimes I really suspect I'm into S&M. Anyway.

I went to work, and the attacks started. Initially, I tried to brush them off and concentrated on doing my work. But the time between the attacks became shorter and shorter. Akin to having contractions just before giving birth. Don't try to be a smart ass and ask me how I know what giving birth is like. I don't. But I imagine it must be as painful as food poisoning contractions.

So there i was, squirming in my seat, counting to myself as the waves of pain took over my body. I rushed to the toilet at one point, and had my second attack of diarrhea. After which, I decided, responsible or not, screw the money, I needed to go home. So I told my bitch boss I was outta there, and left.

When I reached home (after taking a freaking expensive cab! half my morning's pay gone!), I swallowed Po Chai Yun and crawled to my bed. I was semi-unconscious from all the pain, but I tried to sleep it off. But the pain became worse and worse. My Dad came home and decided that i had to see the doctor. So in all that pain, I hobbled to the doctor, moaning all the way. I think i might have broken my Dad's arm from all that tight gripping.

So anyway, when I was at the doctor's, the pain was unbearable and I was squirming in my seat, my head resting on my mum's shoulder. And you know what the receptionist did???? She SMILED. GRINNED. Like it was the funniest thing in the world to see a grown woman (me lah) close to tears like a baby. Fucking bitch. I hope you burn in hell for that.

Long story short, I got lots of medicine that knocked me out straight away. I was still attacked by pains, but they were becoming less frequent.

And you know what hurt the most???? I was supposed to have dinner with the KB gang last night. But because i was fucking sick, I couldn't go. Bloody hell. There's nothing worse than having your life screwed up by sickness. Ugh. *pout* And we were supposed to have Ma La Huo Guo. Just thinking about it makes me really, really fed up.

The only highlight was that Fadz, upon hearing that I was sick, rushed out of camp to see me. I wasn't expecting him and was in all my sick glory, but he still cuddled me and tried to sooth my discomfort. He made me laugh and talked to me (ok lah, not a lot. that guy doesn't have much to say), but his sheer presence was a great comfort to me. When I told him wryly that Vitagen had poisoned me because it was too cultured, he snorted and started spouting nonsense like, very cultured meh? does the vitagen speak french? and so on. Muahaha.

Oh well. Another day of not working. But I still need to go to OCBC later. Ugh. Somebody shoot me.