Joanne On A War Path

Aargh, I've had it with that bloody bank. I'm going into an apoplectic fit. This experience has certainly been an eye-opener at how 2-faced, backstabbing, inefficient an organization can be. If you dunno which bank I'm talking about, well, I can't say. Later kana sued. But anyway...

I just feel so screwed over by them. From an exclusive program, this experience has degenerated into a simple internship. I've sold my soul and it is just another internship experience.

And the worse thing is, I only found out about it being confirmed as an internship (nothing was set; we've been badgering the bank forever to not label it as an internship and they said they'd try) by checking On-Trac. They didn't even have the courtesy to tell us that it has been confirmed. And they extended the dateline from the previously agreed upon date by another month. Which means I can't do a proper internship because no one would hire me for such a short period of time. Aargh, one year down the drain. And I would have to find some dreary temp job to finance my SEA trip.

The original grand vision was for the 4 of us (Jolly, Crotch, Salad and Me) to take on a managerial role. We had clearance from the President of the bank to be wholly involve from the ground up, everything from the framework to the marketing etc.

But employment in banks is incredibly fluid. The originator of this whole program was head-hunted to another bank, taking with her the grandiose vision. People joined and left due to a lack of interest. We were assigned this half-baked newbie who sees himself as the man in-charge and us really merely students on an internship. We weren't even informed of the budget until today. And the dateline for the product launch is coming ever closer. Bastard, I asked and reasked and he had always hemmed on the issue. Today, I finally forced it out of him, and the budget is TINY. FREAKING TINY. After all the marketing plans, I think we have to cut back on certain ideas. Great, all those hours of planning down the proverbial TAMADE drain.

Jolly is on a rampage. He feels that we have been screwed, but in some sense, I wonder if he is thinking logically. He always keeps reminding me to be logical and not emotional but in this scenario, I keep having this feeling that his pride has been bruised and he's on a personal vendetta.

In a small way, I do respect his "change the world" vision. Maybe he truly will be at the top of his game someday. Because he thinks that he can bend all rules.

But I'm a realist. I've learnt to accept certain facts such as old guards and immovable objects. But I also make the best of out it. You give me constraints, I do the best damn job possible. Yes, you may scoff at me for not trying to change the way things are, but sometimes, you just need to get over yourself and your damn ego, get things done, and move on. At the rate Jolly is going, taking 2 hours to argue about some bank practice and past casual conversations and devoting only 40 minutes to actual discussion about the project, I feel is stupid and unnecessary. Is it possible to admire someone while at the same time, think of that person as the biggest arsehole in the world?

At one point this year, I felt I could never work with men EVER AGAIN. I got screwed by this narcissistic fucker during my marketing project. He thought of all of us (the girls in the group) as fucked-up stupidoes and whatever work we did, he redid it to his pleasing. The entire project was his creation. And he had the guts to throw a tantrum at our perceive lack of involvement. Crotch and Salad have returned to India for the entire holidays. Yup, it's just me and Jolly doing the shit work. And now Jolly is turning into this avenging nightmare who sees me as secondary and holds secret phone calls with the bank's top people without my knowledge. Fuckers, fuckers, fuckers. Every last one of them. I wish some male would come along and restore my faith in the Neanderthal species.

On a side track, Jolly irritated the hell out of me today. We went for lunch and he claimed he wasn't hungry, only ordering a bottle of mineral water. When my fish and chips arrived, I did the polite thing and asked if he wanted any. He got another fork and DUG IN. He started to cut the fish up into messy pieces, dumped it all in tartar sauce and ignored the fact that in polite society, you usually don't touch the other person's food until that person has made the first move. He ate all my coleslaw and had no qualms about crossing forks with me over a french fry. Gawd, if I had people like him around whenever I was on a diet, I would be reed thin by now.

Like I said, fuckers, every last one of them.