Monday, March 20, 2006

What's In A Name?

The other day, I was telling Fadzli that I saw a weird derivative of his name: Fadz Lee bin something something. He was shocked and thought that I was bullshitting him, but seriously, no. Saw it in the Straits Times, honest to God.

So anyway, we got into a discussion and speculated about the name's origin. Perhaps, I suggested, the person had a Chinese mother (surname Lee) who wanted her family name to be preserved by her children. But since her husband is Malay, her child needs to have a Malay-sounding name. Hence Fadzli/Fadzly becomes Fadz Lee.

So jokingly, I said that our children should be something Chan bin Muhammad Fadzli cos I want to preserve my family name. Guess what he came up with?

Totto-Chan (the book) and Koro-Chan (yes, the Japanese potato thingy) bin Muhammad Fadzli.

My poor children are so going to have an identity crisis. Or by laughed to death in primary school.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

The Curse Of The Apron Strings

How do you tell your mother, without sounding like an ingrate, to give you a little breathing space and quit treating you like a 12-year old? You would think that turning 21 would mean a little more freedom, a little more control over your life. Fat chance. Life still goes on, and mothers still act like control freaks.

I'm going to Vietnam with Fadz in April. For 20 days. We're doing the whole backpacking thing; cheap guesthouses, lots of walking and cycling cos it's the best way to get around the country. Telling my mum that it was just me and Fadz nearly caused her to kneel over and asphyxiate from shock. Yes mother, I'm going on a trip ALONE with my boyfriend of 4 freaking years. Big shocker.

After enduring countless tales and warnings of not to get pregnant in a foreign country (yes, let me add to the 3rd world country's overflowing population), she finally relented, albeit with the sly remarks dropped whenever Fadz is around, hoping that her constant, chirpy updates of bird flu in Vietnam would cause me to succumb. Ha, you think?

So anyway, I broke it to her that instead of the original 14, we're now planning a 20 day trip cos there really is quite a lot to see. And we'd be cycling to some of the destinations. She IMMEDIATELY went into freak mode: red veins popping from the neck, eyes welling up in tears, beating of the chest as if I told her I had contracted AIDS. Cycling in a foreign country? Cycling across the streets? All your cycling has been restricted in PARKS! You and that DAMN Fadzli always making this kind of plans!

It took immense will power not to flare up. I've truly, truly had it. Why, just why can't she be less of a paranoid, control freak? Need I yell at her and remind her that she was the one who bred me to be independent. Should I remind her that while she was working, she trusted me to not get into trouble despite her only coming home at 7 every night; gave me little supervision and never once did I stray (I've never smoked, I've never taken drugs); and thought me to be an independent thinker who rarely caved in to her demands.

Sure, get sick of working and decide to be a housewife. Think you can influence my behaviour after 15 years of freedom? Think you can start imposing rules and restrictions and try to take back some of the freedom you gave me when I was 10?

I'm not being wilful, I'm not being a brat. I just want to be recognized as a mature thinking, well-developed young lady who is not perpetually tied to my mum's apron strings. Strings that she chose to enclose around my neck only when I was old enough to break free from them.

I know Vietnam is a 3rd world country. I know there are dangers and unforeseeable events. But how the heck am I ever supposed to grow as a person if she turns me into a paranoid, prissy 50-year old woman now? How would I ever be able to face the world and the obstacles thrown at me if she's forever yanking me back from all harm? Doesn't she understand that I'm not some crazy shithead who wants to taste death before knowing how to live?

My 2nd sister moved out of the house less than a year after coming home from studying abroad because my dear mother was being too stifling. My eldest sister has been under her reign for so long that she can't be bothered to do anything about it. But I can. I refuse to be subjected to her manipulative ways and go along with her wishes. If I did, I must as well pack up and head for a nursing home. With all the restrictions she puts on me, I can foresee myself ending up in an old folks home, alone, unmarried, bitter and useless. That's how she makes me feel right now.

Yup, I am an ingrate. Parents know best, right? Unfortunately, Singaporean parents can't seem to see past academic qualifications and they equate books smarts to street smarts. Sure, your precious child is scoring straight As. Would he be able to survive in the real world once mummy and daddy are no longer around to hold his hand? Or what if he can't afford to get a maid? Gasp, who's going to do the laundry then?

You bet I'm furious. I'm going to Vietnam, no matter what (barring bird flu epidemic). Let the war of sulking, crying and scolding begin. It's a little too late for that.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Random Updates

Tragic Update #1: I was on my way home the other night and it started raining heavily. Without an umbrella and irritably eager to get home, I decided to run for it. As I was rushing across the road, my foot slipped out of my slipper, leaving it forlorn in the middle of the road. I ran back for it, my other slipper snapped, and I was left with egg on my face. Refusing to spend money to correct this idiotic situation, I bought only an umbrella (must protect laptop) and walked home bare-footed. Yup, if it's good enough for the Africans, it's good enough for me. Aside from the incredulous stares and startled gasp for people, it was really quite pleasant.

Tragic Update #2: I was walking around my very messy room one night and about to go to sleep. Suddenly, I stepped on something and it hurt like hell, but passed quickly. Thinking it was nothing, I proceeded on to my bed but as I turned around, I saw little blobs of red all around the room. Closer inspection revealed that it was indeed blood, and was actually gushing out of my foot. Sigh, the pain didn't hit me until my brain recognized that the blood was coming out of my foot. Not a pleasant sight. I also left cute little round blobs of blood from my room to the kitchen. I hope the ants like protein.

Boyfriend Update: Fadz is back! So, so happy!

SEA Trip Update: Because Thailand is in political upheaval, it's off the itinerary. Damn. So now we have to make do with Vietnam and Cambodia, no Laos because it's just too expensive. (Damn Vietnam). And all my stupid friends have dropped out of the trip for various reasons and it's just me and Fadz. Oh well.

New York Update: And then I was going for 3 weeks. Then not going due to the lack of funds. Then the trip was on again because I found the moolah. And now it's off again because my free accommodation just dried up and I've been bumped off. Sigh, it was going to be such a fabulous 21st birthday celebration.

Other Trips Update: My parents are celebrating their 25th anniversary this August. So seeing how I'm not going to New York anymore, that's my alternative. Choices are fluctuating between New York, Switzerland and Japan. Great, I get to gatecrash my parent's love fest. Whoopee. What a great show of independence. Sigh.

On a happier note, Fadz said that if Thailand calms down, he might bring me there for my birthday. Hahaha, dear Thailand, please stop with the rioting and minister ousting so that I can start my 21st year on this earth with a bang (figuratively, not literally).