Sadomasochist

The above title would apply to me. Why, why, why do I persist in making my life miserable? Why do I seem to enjoy engaging in activities that are bound to end in suffering and pain? Why, why, why, indeed.

No, I'm not talking about whips and physical torture, but more of a gigantic headache and miserable emotions when I subject myself to working with people of a certain nationality. No names of course, or else later the government hurls me to court and charges me for racism. That, or for scaring foreign "talent" away.

Let me now explain my situation/predication a little...

There's this Citibank case competition that I thought would be good exposure to join. Crotch (you remember him.. from my OCBC days) asked if I was interested in forming a team with him and in a moment of folly, I agreed. Even though my OCBC working experience wasn't a joyful thing to remember. It's a woman thing... recall how women forget how painful childbearing is, therefore allowing multiple pregnancies? It's the same logic. We know it's painful, but having forgetten HOW painful, we allow the same situation to persist.

Anyway, the team Crotch formed eventually consisted of 3 people from the same nationality and ME. No price for guessing what happens next.

I simply don't get it. How do they manage to live with themselves and their inflated egos? It's like having to deal with 2 people within the same body. In fact, I'm quite certain a person of that nationality would be able to have a lengthy discussion all by himself/herself simply because he/she loves the sound of his/her voice. It's simply amazing. It's like, Hi, I'm Sam. This is my inflated ego, Am. Now shut up bitch and listen to what we have to say. Any lapse in conversation is meant as a breath-intake and NOT for your contribution.

I hate it how they ramble on and on. I hate it how they can spend 8 hours talking BULLSHIT and then declaring the meeting a success. I hate how they can go round in circles, never quite hitting the point, then suddenly declare a division of work, throw you something, and expect it within the next hour. When you dare to give a "huh" face, they make this annoyed sound and proceed to speak SLOWLY (but still in CIRCLES) about what they sort of, perhaps, maybe think the situation is about and what it calls for.

Fuckers. Truly, motherfuckers. There's this one team mate, let's call him FuckFace. He's the kind who thinks he's so damn great, thinks he knows the whole damn world, thinks he's so damn good. Excuse me, if you are so damn good, why didn't you get picked for the Cognitare (this prestigeous elite club in SMU) team? Yes, you speak well, as you rightly pointed out. But the way you frame and present yourself is an INSTANT turnoff. I feel like spitting into your face.I feel like raining punches down on you. You're condescending, arrogant, self-absorbed and an all-around asshole. Maybe the reason you didn't get picked was because you aren't personable and people immediately feel like puking when hearing you speak.

A good speaker is not just one who can speak well, but also one who can connect with the audience. And you, in this aspect, have failed miserably.

Why, why, why, did I think this team was going to work?

Like I said, I'm a masochist.