I'm really thankful for some people in my life. The ones who have listened to my litany of whining, endured my sadness and sullen behavior, the constant spacing out, the lack of motivation.... thank you one and all.

I think I can safely say I'm on the road to recovery.

I met Li Wern last night. And I don't know if I've ever said it to her, or shown enough appreciation. Babe, you are one heck of a woman, a great friend, and you've got plenty of balls. And I adore you for it. Thank you so much for not treating me like a flower and shaking some hard facts into me. I needed a wake up call.

And surprisingly, I've reconnected with an old friend. Someone whom I thought had disappeared from my life. But when he recognized my signs of distress, he approached. He allowed me to seek solace. He listened, he comforted, he gave advice. Especially today... Aldric's going through a lot of personal shit himself. And I thought I'd be a good friend and give him comfort. In the end, he was so nice, so understanding, so patient... that my emotions overtook me for a minute and it all came bursting out. I felt bad burdening him further. But he was there. He was comforting. He held my hand and that was enough. He wiped away my tears as the waterfall cascaded down my cheeks.

But I do believe I've shed my last tears. Yes, I'm still friends with Fadz. Why, you ask? Because I realize that I do not have many close male friends. Most guys are afraid of me and I hate it when they give me nicknames or hold up their hands as a shield against my apparent aggressiveness. But Fadz (when we're not in a relationship), Aldric, Shawn and Alwin aren't afraid of me. I don't feel like I need to hold back or act softer in front of them. I am perfectly comfortable being who I am and they are ok with that. That's hard to find. And so, I rather keep a friend around.

Besides, I refuse to be victimised. I wasn't. Things didn't work out, things may have sucked, but I'm nobody's victim. Fadz had a bout of karma hit him. But I'm not gloating. Seriously. I even comforted him. Nobody deserves to be treated like that.

The only way I can move on is if I can forgive him and me. So I will.