Another day in the life of a spazzy job hunter

Honestly, when I dig deep down inside of me, I know I'm a charlatan. And I can say it because I have no idea half the time what I'm doing or saying during job interviews. Being a free-spirited Gemini who does not believe in censorship or filtering, I fear I do not properly process the many flitting thoughts that enter my head and I have a tendency to say the first thing that pops into my head.

Either you love it or hate it.

Went for an interview with HP on Wednesday. Yes, the computer/personal electronics/business solutions company. And they asked me one of the most standard questions in the world, which evidently, I blatantly chose not to prepare for.

Interviewer: "So tell me what you know about HP."

*Awkward pause*

*Clears throat*

Me: "Not a lot, honestly. I know HP does computers, personal handheld devices, printers, and provides business solutions." *Interviewer nods encouragingly"

Me: "Oh yeah. And I own a HP desktop. Does that help?"

Sometimes, I can't believe the things that I have the gall to say. But hey, he laughed, and I've been invited back for a 2nd interview. Stranger things have happened.

On a more WTF level, Mediacorp called me, asking if I was interested in being a broadcast journalist. When the guy called, I did a double take and asked again which company he was calling from. When he said Mediacorp, I starting giggling because it's so damn random. Apparently, my school sent the resume compilation book to Mediacorp, thinking there might be seriously corporate jobs. And hey presto! Journalist??? On the radio??? MEEE?

Anywayz, the guy asked if I was interested and in a moment of madness, I actually replied "Why not?"

I wasn't trying to be a cocky bastard; I was just at a loss for words.

So I went for the audition today. The position was specifically for a business news radio journalist and what I know of business you can fit into a singular sticky note. There were 4 candidates, and coincidentally, all from SMU. It was pretty fun; you sit at a pseudo news desk, put on some headphones and speak into a mike as 5 people in a room separated by a see-through glass panel access how "radio-friendly" your voice is. Out of 4, 2 made the cut and I was one of them. I didn't think I'd make it. Yes, I was a DJ in SMU, but I was the WORST.

After reading a short piece of business news, we were asked to read a list of "tough" words. "Balestier" "lavender" "psychiatric". All very random. Passed that too. Next up: a 2.5 hour current affairs essay/short-answer questions test. I felt so screwed. I knew they were gonna test my current affairs knowledge, but in my typical fashion, I did minimal preparation.

And I must say, I believe I'm gonna fail the test spectacularly. They test ACTUAL financial/business knowledge. And what I know is equivalent to a fuckwit.

mini essay questions....

"It was a mistake to build the Integrated Resorts. Do you agree?"

"The property market is going to boom for another year. Do you agree?"

"Singapore entrepreneurs expect the government to offer a hand to them. Do you agree?"

I definitely didn't give brilliant answers, but I think I might scrape through.

And then I was hit with the shockers.

What do you understand from the following terms:

"Warrants" "CDOs" "ETFs" "Reits" "Bonus Issue"

I was stunned. I know, I know, as a finance student, these things should roll off my tongue like butter. But I was a horrid finance student, I have no interest in financial instruments, and I sure as heck didn't listen in class. Oh well.

Next up:

Match these stock exchanges to their respective countries - DAX, KOSPI, CAC....

I was fucked.

So there you have it: I'm either not applying for the right jobs or I'm a fuckwit.

Erm, I'm having fun slacking. Does that count for anything? Anyone with a job that would allow me to be happy? ANYONE????