I have no idea what to do with my life.

Have been going for interviews, have been searching for jobs, but I feel like my soul is not in it. I seem to be finding fault with every opportunity that comes my way. Why? Well, I haven't found a passion for any particular job. I can't firmly say what I want to do, I can't give a clear answer on a particular direction that I want to follow. And above all, I can't seem to find a meaning to work.

Why do we work? Most practically, to earn money to spend. Some lucky people may cite job satisfaction and derive a purpose for living from their work, but from what I see around me, people work so that they have the means to spend. Is that MEANINGFUL? Is this why we were put on this earth? To be slaves to commercialism and the economy?

Don't get me wrong. I love my fillet mignons and Gucci wallets and I understand that SOMEBODY must pay for them. But is that all there is to work? Should i get any random job that pays me decently and that I can do sufficiently well, but not consider job enjoyment as a factor?

Is there even such a thing as job enjoyment?

I didn't get the HP job (guess not knowing what the company does plays a big part, huh?). I went for the Mediacorp 2nd interview and it was really an interview to gauge my commitment level. Evidently, I am not prepared for the shitty hours. You see, the thing about journalism is that you really need the passion. It's shit pay, shit hours, shit work. So if you don't love living for the next big story, or chasing deadlines, then it's something you should pretty much avoid.

I don't think I'd get it and I don't think it's any big loss. I just feel sorry for having wasted everyone's time.

So back to the big question: what do I want? I need deliverance, a sign, a purpose, advice.... something to work on rather than this gaping hole of nothingness and weariness. I need to feel optimistic about life and not view the next 20 years as drudgery and watch myself spiral into a cycle of cynicism and jadedness.

What the hell should I do?