Friday, August 27, 2010

Restless

Oh restless spirit, what exactly is it that i crave?

I sometimes wonder if i have a self-destructive nature.

If not for my fear of pain, i would probably have been one of those kids who sliced their arms to get some release from inner demons.

Seriously, i would find myself in a real dark place, contemplating if i should let things fester and deteriorate, wondering if i should destroy something that once gave me joy...

Just to see what happens....

See if it would really cause me pain, or if i would survive and simply move on.

Yup, in a twisty mood. I'm in a funk.

And i'm exasperated, so exasperated!

Why should i give a damn, if you don't give a damn about me?

Why can't i be thoughtless, if you are thoughtless?

Wish my brain would shut down. Just to give me some peace for a bit.

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