I'm All Alone!

I cannot believe. I really, fucking cannot believe it. I'm actually spending New Year's Eve alone. Ok, I'm at home with the 'renz (parents) but they don't count. I'm freaking alone. Alone, alone, alone. The darkness! The solitude! It's all closing in!

*sulk* Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why? *sulk* Super BLLLEAAAGGHHH mood right now. This just reeks of pathetic-ness. Ah, the grand downfall of a social life. So young, so bright! SO GONE.

Sobz, I'm freaking bored out of my mind. The last weekend before the new year and I'm at home. Want to hear something more pathetic? My dad bought me the ipod nano for Christmas and up till now, I still can't use it. I tried. Fadz tried. My dad tried. There's something wrong with the program. I must be the only person in the world who's that suay. Sigh.

(Not so) Happy New Year to all you assholes lucky people who have parties to go to tonight. What a Brilliant (not) start to the new year. *sulk*

The Christmas Orgy

I'm still recovering from all that fun and debauchery conducted over the Christmas period... oh my poor aching belly. Yup, I went on a massive food orgy and my expanded waistline speaks for it. Sigh, starvation city here I come.

The mad indulgence began on Thursday because my mum fanatically proclaimed it Winter Solstice Day and therefore any Chinese worth his Ba Kwa had to celebrate with good food. That meant a trip down to Holland V for some lovely La Mian and Xiao Long Bao. Slurpz!

Friday was rather uneventful due to me having volleyball. But breaking from tradition (i.e. no eating after training cos it's freaking 11pm and therefore bad), we went for drinks, which degenerated quickly into a mini food fest comprising of fries, rojak and fried carrot cake. Sigh...

Saturday morning brought about Christmas eve, and that meant time with the Fadz man! My poor baby has been stuck on freaking Jurong Island doing guard duty. Bless his darling soul; Singapore is safe because of boys dressed in military gear patrolling the island on machine-gun bound jeeps. Through rain, shine and sleet. We checked into Orchard Parade Hotel for some R & R and I must say, the hotel is... let's just say I preferred Gallery Hotel 2 to 1. The room smelt funny and the bath robes were HAPPY ROBES. They were lime green and had palm trees. Sheeesssshhh.

Didn't take many photos. We tried exploring Orchard Road while scavaging for a late dinner, but beat a hasty retreat into Wheelock Place because Orchard Road went mad. I mean it literally. People were engaging in faux snowwars. I saw this fat ah lian (and fat being used very objectively) suddenly attack this scrawny boy for no apparent reason other then to cause mayhem. He stood stunned for a moment, called his kakis over, and the 6 of them counter-attacked the ah lian with their cans. Well hahaha, that must have been fun. And of couse, the foreign workers were out in force. It did seem rather creepy the way they stood on the streets and randomly attacked girls with their spray cans.

We ate at Fish and Co and topped it off with Ben & Jerry's ice cream. More reason to hit the gym.... But it was damn, damn good.... sigh, if only food didn't come with all that calories... a lot of people would be so much happier.

Christmas morning was a blur because a) we slept late b) I had to rush down to Oriental Hotel for the family Christmas brunch, despite my belly groaning from all that food. But looking back, I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Oriental Hotel recently underwent renovation and the place is now very, very posh.

The plush rugs, the hushed, austere atmosphere, and the high, over-arching ceilings were a delightful way to spend the Christmas morning. Oh yeah, and the great food of course. There were lobsters and oysters, turkey and roasted baked ham, chocolate fountains and small, bite-size desserts in a myriad of flavours that left me breathless. Ok, part of the breathlessness came from overeating and me wanting to hurl.. but that's another story. I felt like a kid looking at all the desserts. Oh yeah, and I went a little crazy over the sashimi table. I swear I could almost taste sea water.

But the nicest surprise was the people. The waiters and maitre-d were so courteous and seemed genuinely happy to serve us. They played with the children, and there was even a Santa Claus and his Santarinas going around to give candy to the children. They were polite, attentive and helpful. Now, if only more of Singapore restaurants were like this.

But did the gluttony end there? NO. My sec school class was having a Christmas dinner celebration and I had to show face. And of all the stupid things, they had to choose a steamboat. I met up with Pei Wen and Jing Yi but when we got to Marina and found out who was present, the urge to meet up diminished in a poof. So we hotfooted over to Bugis for our own celebration. Surprise, surprise, they still wanted to eat steamboat and helplessly, I followed.

Really, we are such camera whores.

Meet Blacky and Tweety.

Stare into my eyes... you are getting sleepy, sleepy...

Food... oh god... so much food...

The stomach has a separate compartment for dessert, or so they claim. Even after taking a slow walk from Bugis to Raffles Place to calm our stomachs, I wanted to bend over the railing and dispose of everything in my stomach into the Singapore River. Wisely, I managed to hold it back in.

When I thought I could finally rest on Boxing Day, my mum decides that Boxing Day is equally important and therefore should be celebrated. With more food. After forcing me to play mahjong the whole afternoon when all I wanted to do was lie on my bed and groan, my mum and sis dragged me to Westmall for some Sakae Sushi. I swear, I must have turned slightly green.

Man, some weekend, eh?

12 Days of Christmas

On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

12 beaten children

11 drive-by shootings

10 frozen homeless

9 amputations

8 burn victims

7 strangled shoppers

6 random knifings

5 suicides

4 beaten wives

3 O.D.'s

2 shattered skulls

and a drunk who drove into a tree.

Merry Christmas people! Song courtesy of Scrubs. Hiak hiak hiak. Don't you think this version better reflects the nature of today's society?

Joanne On A War Path

Aargh, I've had it with that bloody bank. I'm going into an apoplectic fit. This experience has certainly been an eye-opener at how 2-faced, backstabbing, inefficient an organization can be. If you dunno which bank I'm talking about, well, I can't say. Later kana sued. But anyway...

I just feel so screwed over by them. From an exclusive program, this experience has degenerated into a simple internship. I've sold my soul and it is just another internship experience.

And the worse thing is, I only found out about it being confirmed as an internship (nothing was set; we've been badgering the bank forever to not label it as an internship and they said they'd try) by checking On-Trac. They didn't even have the courtesy to tell us that it has been confirmed. And they extended the dateline from the previously agreed upon date by another month. Which means I can't do a proper internship because no one would hire me for such a short period of time. Aargh, one year down the drain. And I would have to find some dreary temp job to finance my SEA trip.

The original grand vision was for the 4 of us (Jolly, Crotch, Salad and Me) to take on a managerial role. We had clearance from the President of the bank to be wholly involve from the ground up, everything from the framework to the marketing etc.

But employment in banks is incredibly fluid. The originator of this whole program was head-hunted to another bank, taking with her the grandiose vision. People joined and left due to a lack of interest. We were assigned this half-baked newbie who sees himself as the man in-charge and us really merely students on an internship. We weren't even informed of the budget until today. And the dateline for the product launch is coming ever closer. Bastard, I asked and reasked and he had always hemmed on the issue. Today, I finally forced it out of him, and the budget is TINY. FREAKING TINY. After all the marketing plans, I think we have to cut back on certain ideas. Great, all those hours of planning down the proverbial TAMADE drain.

Jolly is on a rampage. He feels that we have been screwed, but in some sense, I wonder if he is thinking logically. He always keeps reminding me to be logical and not emotional but in this scenario, I keep having this feeling that his pride has been bruised and he's on a personal vendetta.

In a small way, I do respect his "change the world" vision. Maybe he truly will be at the top of his game someday. Because he thinks that he can bend all rules.

But I'm a realist. I've learnt to accept certain facts such as old guards and immovable objects. But I also make the best of out it. You give me constraints, I do the best damn job possible. Yes, you may scoff at me for not trying to change the way things are, but sometimes, you just need to get over yourself and your damn ego, get things done, and move on. At the rate Jolly is going, taking 2 hours to argue about some bank practice and past casual conversations and devoting only 40 minutes to actual discussion about the project, I feel is stupid and unnecessary. Is it possible to admire someone while at the same time, think of that person as the biggest arsehole in the world?

At one point this year, I felt I could never work with men EVER AGAIN. I got screwed by this narcissistic fucker during my marketing project. He thought of all of us (the girls in the group) as fucked-up stupidoes and whatever work we did, he redid it to his pleasing. The entire project was his creation. And he had the guts to throw a tantrum at our perceive lack of involvement. Crotch and Salad have returned to India for the entire holidays. Yup, it's just me and Jolly doing the shit work. And now Jolly is turning into this avenging nightmare who sees me as secondary and holds secret phone calls with the bank's top people without my knowledge. Fuckers, fuckers, fuckers. Every last one of them. I wish some male would come along and restore my faith in the Neanderthal species.

On a side track, Jolly irritated the hell out of me today. We went for lunch and he claimed he wasn't hungry, only ordering a bottle of mineral water. When my fish and chips arrived, I did the polite thing and asked if he wanted any. He got another fork and DUG IN. He started to cut the fish up into messy pieces, dumped it all in tartar sauce and ignored the fact that in polite society, you usually don't touch the other person's food until that person has made the first move. He ate all my coleslaw and had no qualms about crossing forks with me over a french fry. Gawd, if I had people like him around whenever I was on a diet, I would be reed thin by now.

Like I said, fuckers, every last one of them.

Movie Ramblings

Went on a movie binge this weekend. Watched Perhaps Love and King Kong. Loved the first, indifferent to the second.

How can any living, breathing, heterosexual female be immuned to the utterly delectable and swoon-worthy Takeshi Kaneshiro? His beauty is so awe-inspiring that he puts most women to shame. Everytime his expressive eyes looked into the camera, I felt him gazing straight at my rapidly beating heart. *Sniff* I love love love love Jin Cheng Wu.

The movie was pretty good too. It's like 2046, just less ramblings and confusing imagery. A straight-forward love story. Jacky Cheung's singing was brilliant, as usual, but next to his operatic antics, Takeshi and Zhou Xun's wispy singing were a little disconcerting. Like mice next to a lion's roar.

Haha, at the end of the movie, I could see the women all looking a little wistful, and the men, just bored. Fadz slept through most of the show; he only woke up when Jacky Cheung started singing. Oh well.

Cut to King Kong, and you get the other end on the beauty spectrum. Dear old Kong was beautifully CGI-ed, but an ugly beast is an ugly beast.

The show was ok; nothing spectacular aside from the CGI and special effects. After the 9-minute fight between Kong and the 3 dinosaurs, it's pretty much just Naomi Campbell screaming her pretty little head off.

Sure, sure, there are the messages of how greed corrupts and how humans can be so cruel, but let's face it, how many people can really see past the roaring gorilla who crashes cars and whatnot and say hey, let's not kill that bugger.

But then again, I did get rather teary-eyed when Kong died. Must be all those shots of its emotive eyes looking at Naomi Campbell, as if saying It's Ok, Don't Cry Anymore.

Haha, spent my 3 1/2 year anniversary getting weepy over a CGI gorilla. I can hardly wait to see what I do on my next anniversary.

Oh yeah, as a side note, I think it's so bloody irritating that people keep asking me when I'm getting married to Fadz. Yes, haha, funny the 1st million times, but when random schoolmates I meet on the streets see me with Fadz and ask about marriage, NOT SO FUNNY ANYMORE. Yes, 3 1/2 years may seem like an eternity, but enough is enough. When we get married, I'd tell the whole world, ok? Or maybe, we'd just run off to Vegas and do a Britney Spears. Sheesh.

The results of your analysis say:

You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry.
You are a shy, idealistic person who does not find it easy to have relationships, especially intimate ones.
You are diplomatic, objective, and live in the present.
You are not very reserved, impatient, self-confident and fond of action.
You are self-confident and like to bring attention to yourself.

What does your handwriting say about YOU?

Yay, finally something that says I'm shy, shy shy! I really am ookkaaayyyyyyyy.... teeheehee...

But WTF, how can I be shy and self-confident at the same time? Sheesh.

Shopping Madness

Orchard Road is absolutely heinous. It is so crowded it even feels stuffy outdoors. So many people pushing, shoving, squeezing, rushing.... aarrgggghhh!!!! And people are seriously lacking in Christmas spirit. Sheesh, you would think that with year-end bonuses Singaporeans would stop being so uptight.

Anyway.

Walking Orchard both yesterday and today for a gazillion hours looking for presents, and I'm glad I'm finally done. I'm not really a materialistic person, but somehow, buying branded goods is such a thrill. Walking into Tiffany's (didn't buy), Kate Spade (bought!), Furla (bought!) and looking and running my hands over their beautiful bags and accessories is wonderful. Really, really wonderful. Pity such extravagance only comes once a year, but all the greater the appreciation. Hehehehehe....

Wah, my feet ache like hell. Off to rest my precious feet and watch some tv.

Oh yeah, trying to buy a nice pair of flat sandals. Anyone has good recommendations? No Charles and Keith or Far East, please.

Gallery Hotel Is Da Bomb!

Damn, but our stay was too short. The staff was so polite and friendly I wanted to wept. Everywhere we went, from the bellboy to the chambermaid, they greeted us with a smile and salutation. Ah, good service in Singapore, how lovely. Oh oh, and the best part was that "tipping is discouraged in Singapore". That's new to me. I wanted to tip the bellboy, but he came, he put down our bags, and hopped out so quickly I couldn't even reach for my wallet.

Chilling out in the hotel lobby. They're into the whole minimalist, clean deco.

Every moment is an opportunity for a photo!

Our room! Oh yeah, didn't photograph the pillow fight that erupted the moment we saw the cute and colourful cushions... Hehehe...

Smile for the camera!

The Infinity Pool. Very, very pretty when the sun is up. The glass catches the light and would reflect a rainbow of colours.

Me and Kristin in the pool! Stupid Sylvia is scared of pools... and it was only 1.4m deep....

All cosy and cute! There was this guy behind us who stared when we cuddled up! Aiyah, he's gay. I mean, why would 2 adult males check into a hotel, right? Yeah, there was quite a few gays hanging out.

Getting ready for a girls' night out

More photo whoring

Brewerkz for dinner. Freaking expensive, but the portions are huge and the food is great!

Mmmm, nachos!

Burp! Nothing like a good pint of beer

My Cowboy burger

Sylvia's Fish and Chips

Kristin's BBQ combo

Feeding frenzy time!

And all that unfinished food. How utterly sinful. But it really was too much... Don't believe? Look at my face...


And more pictures taken at a bridge along Clark Quay. It's really pretty with the lights at night and the restaurants that line the river.

We walked all the way to Chinatown(!!!!) in search of KTV. Yes, in heels. Women are strange, strange creatures.

The only photo I managed to snap before my camera ran out of battery. Oh well.

We wanted to go clubbing after ktv but we were just too tired and like old ladies, settled onto our bed and drifted off to sleep. No, it was not a pleasant experience. I was stuck in the middle and the 2 idiots were giving off so much heat I thought I was running a fever. So some time in the middle of the night, according to the two of them anyway, I pushed them to the edges of the bed. Hiak hiak.

So fun, so fun, so fun! We needed more time! Buutttt, it's back to reality... sigh....

Bye Bye Peasants!

Toodles people, for I am about to leave for my little R&R escapade with one Sylvia Huang and one Kristin Chan at The Gallery Hotel. Hehehehe... as Kristin says it, "it's one big orgy!". And yes, she's sleeping on the floor. Hah!

Will take incriminating photos and try to destroy the reputations of my dear friends. *Air kisses*